Ramblings

I've started and not finished a few posts over the last week, but I'm just never satisfied with what I'm saying.  I have felt passionately about a few things, but I have been unable to collect my thoughts in a meaningful way.  I really don't like posting just to post, so I have been holding off until I can say something that I think is significant.

It has been a bit over a week since I passed my Master's exam, and it has been a challenge to regain my footing.  I spent so much time hemming and hawing over my project and then so much mental and emotional energy preparing for the exam!  Having it be all over is overwhelming.  It's nice, but it's still confusing to me.

One way that I handle myself is by cleaning and organizing.  In the last week I have sold my desk and chair, and I assimilated all that my desk held into Matthew's desk since that will be the one that we keep.  Matthew and I tore pages and pages of college notes out of notebooks, and we recycled them.  I also have my college textbooks listed to be sold.  It feels really good to let this all go, and I'm glad that I can allow someone else to make use of what I have.  Plus, I won't be sad that the books are gone when it comes time to move...

Speaking of moving, we're probably going to do that in about a month.  However, we don't know for sure where yet.  It looks like Matthew has an interview at a company in Eugene, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he'll get that job or that he won't get another interview for another job that he likes better.  Eugene wouldn't be a bad place to live.  It's close to Matthew's family, and it's about two hours from my parents which beats the option of three hours that Portland offers.  That all being said, we love living in Corvallis, so if Matthew gets offered a job here we sure wouldn't mind...

I'm thinking that I won't try to work until the school year starts in September.  At that point, I think that it would be good to find part-time work teaching math at a college or university.  Until then, I hope to explore some interests.  If we move, I'd like to spend time getting to know our new town.  I'll be especially interested in finding a place to provide us with good food.  I'm also considering joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program to help out a local farmer and to provide us with an adventuresome way to get fresh, local fruits and vegetables.  I also really want to preserve some food over this summer.  We probably won't have a huge freezer, so I'll probably just get some berries, freezer jam, and a little bit of other fresh food in the freezer.  However, I want to learn how to can food this summer.  I think it would be really fun to go to farms and pick all sorts of fruits and vegetables and then can them.  I also think that I'd like to dry some food, too.  I think it would be awesome to have stores of food next winter.

I also have been regularly picturing my dream of my own garden, chickens, kittens, and my purple kitchen...  Those might not happen for another year or two, though.  We'll see. :)

Besides my dreaming, I've also had thoughts about how people treat each other running through my head.  Essentially, I've been considering the idea of motivation.  I think that God is very concerned about motivation, and I feel like humans end up focusing more on outward action than motivation.  We don't know anybody else's motivation besides our own, so this makes sense in a way.  However, when you think about it, it really means that we need to extend copious amounts of grace to people.  For example, I have someone in my life who I consider to be somewhat self-centered, a show-off, and often downright arrogant.  However, how do I know what motivates this person's speech and behavior?  We're all so different, it's impossible to tell.  It bothers me that I struggle to extend this grace because I tend to judge people who don't extend grace.   Oops!  At any rate, it is something I am working on.

My final thought in my post of ramblings is about peace.  I am watching the sunset as I type this, and I feel peace and contentment fill me.  I think peace is important to God as well, and I think that peace is generally ignored.  We assume that outward peace between nations and people can't happen, so we don't fight very hard for it.  I think that we also tend to forget that we are supposed to find it inwardly, so we don't notice as our fast-paced, consumerist culture keeps us moving but unfulfilled.  I thank God for the peaceful moments that I have while spending time with my family and friends, typing a blog post that allows me to collect my thoughts, watching a sunset, or living simply with love.  It is fulfilling and good.

I feel like peace would be a worthwhile topic for a full post sometime in the future.  For those of you who read this, is there something that you'd like to hear about?  I love when people comment, so please don't feel shy about commenting.  Until we talk next... Peace be with you!