And so we vote!

I have felt compelled to write about the 2012 election a few times either on Facebook on my blog.  Each time I start typing, my words fall short of the ideas in my head, and I worry that I will add to the drivel of election season.  Heaven forbid!  Finally, as election day has arrived, I think that I have figured out the words that I wish to add to the "conversation".

We have heard over and over from opposing parties about how awful (or wonderful!) things would be if a candidate is elected this year.  The numbers have been crunched (or made up), facts (or lies/half-truths) have been brought to the voters' attention, and speeches have been made (and then taken out of context)!  I don't think that anybody can deny that election season is messy in the U.S.

So what do I want to add to all of it?  My call to unify rather than polarize.  My prayer is that we:

• Unify as a nation to face our problems and work together, taking time to consider diverse opinions, to solve them.
• Bring peace to the world.
• Use resources (monetary and planetary) wisely so as to provide a positive future for generations to come
• Face the problem of climate change and deal with human impacts responsibly.
• Be compassionate to those in need that we are able to help.
• Create policies that bring justice, social and otherwise, both in our country and the rest of the world.
• Create a food system that is safe, healthy, just, and sustainable.
• Treat all people with equal respect and rights.
• And..

Regardless of who wins any elections, I hope that our representatives in government succeed in creating a better country and a better world through their policies.  We are not electing "the lesser of two (or more) evils", we are electing one of two (or more) people.  Each person will have both talents and faults to share as he or she governs.

But if we bicker and complain and attack our candidates and then our leaders, how are we making anything better?  How can we work together after an election if we can't be civil during one?

I end with these thoughts:  Our country, and our world, is made up of citizens.  Our government has a huge amount of power, and it can make choices that largely impact individuals and the world at large.  However, while I cannot control the choices of the government, I am left with the choice about what kind of citizen I wish to be.

I can contact my representatives to let them know how I feel about different issues.  I can stay caught up with the news even between election cycles so that I can understand the array of issues better and be as well-informed as possible.  I can choose my words wisely when discussing politics; I can speak gently instead of with the grace of a battering ram.

I can share my resources with others.  I can improve my community.  I can participate in meetings of the local government.  I can make choices with others' needs in mind.  I can volunteer.

I have the power to bring beauty and love, or darkness and hate, into the world.

I want, and will work toward, good things in the world, and no election can change that.  I simply believe that I can be a more effective citizen if I am engaged, cooperating, thoughtful, concerned, and respectful instead of whiny, uncooperative, attacking, violent, and disrespectful.

And, besides my own ballot, that is my contribution to the election of 2012.

FASHION!

Did I mention that I miss writing in my blog?  I really do.  I don't know what's wrong with me... Actually, I do.  Fact:  I find it challenging to just sit unless I'm doing something at the computer for my students.  I like to DO!  However, today I'm kind of tired, and sitting on the couch writing a blog post sounds just right...

But I digress.

FASHION!

Those who know me well may wonder why I am writing a post about fashion.  I think it is fate.  (It's certainly not because I can tell you what the current fashions are...)  Two people brought clothing to my attention through two articles/blog posts on Facebook this week.  The first is an article written by a journalist who does some research about the "afterlife" of much the clothing we buy in the U.S.  The second is a blog post written by a Christian woman who is giving her two cents about the Great Christian Modesty Debacle.  I am not going to summarize or paraphrase what these people say since they do such a good job of speaking for themselves, so I would recommend reading the links before you continue.

Done?  OK.  Let's go.

I honestly don't have much to say about the article about the afterlife of clothing except that I continue to hope and pray that we come to our senses when it comes to "stuff".  It truly baffles me that we discard so much clothing in the U.S. that after thrift stores get stuffed to the gills, the natural solution is to turn perfectly good (sometimes brand new) clothing into rags or to ship it off to Africa.  The whole thing reeks of waste.

The post regarding the Great Christian Modesty Debacle earns more of a response.  Sheila and I agree that rules about modesty may very well go beyond what God requires (for example, a rule where women are only allowed to wear skirts/dresses down to the ankle).  We also agree that the clothing that we wear does not have to be societally unfashionable.  However, Sheila makes the argument that, in fact, Christian women have the duty to God and their husbands to be societally fashionable.   It is with this thesis that I am taken aback.

The following ideas run through my own head as I consider Sheila's post:

My husband loves me, is proud of me, and is attracted to me regardless of the clothes that I wear.  He loves me because we are called to love.  He is proud of me based on my actions and the content of my character.  He is attracted to me because he loves me and he is proud of me and I'm ME!

I do not need to earn the respect of society through what I wear.  I will earn respect through who I am and what I do.

There is nothing wrong with something "looking like it came from a thrift shop".  There is nothing wrong with used clothes or hand-me-downs.  There is nothing wrong with wearing "last year's fashions".  There is nothing wrong with the people who cannot afford to put together a closet of clothing that makes them look stylish.  There is nothing wrong with people who can afford to put together such a wardrobe but choose not to.

I do not believe that I can justify spending my money on a fashionable wardrobe in this society.  Women are expected to have a bunch of different outfits and be in fashion at all times (even when fashions change on a dime).  This can be expensive, and I feel that I can be a better steward of our resources.

I do not believe that I can justify the environmental and social ramifications of a fashionable wardrobe.  Creating fashion creates waste through the production of the fabric, the shipping of everything, and the discards readily cast aside as fashion changes.  Additionally, if I buy new clothing, I run the risk of supporting a company that allows horrible work conditions unless I do my research first.

I do believe that I should respect, appreciate, and thank God for the clothing and resources that God has provided.  This keeps me satisfied with what I have instead of in want for more.  This encourages me to wear my clothing until it is worn out.  This prevents me from feeling like I have "nothing to wear".

Overall, I personally found that Sheila has too much concern for appearances and plays into what I believe is one of our culture's issues.  While you may have noticed that I wrestle with some of what Paul wrote, I think that this is something particularly beautiful that he left us:

Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. 
1 Timothy 2:9-10

I pray for beauty from doing something beautiful for God!

As always, you are more than welcome to disagree with me, but I thought that I'd get my perspective out there since, after all, this is my blog. :)

Home Economics

And by this, I mean economics of my home.  I have been reading some of Bill McKibben's books recently (Eaarth and Deep Economy, in case you are curious), and he has reminded me of the power of community and supporting our local communities.  As I became an adult, I had the tendency to try to avoid spending money preferring to save for the future.  As I have become a slightly older adult, I tacked on the desire to not spend money so that I'd also have plenty to give away.  Inn the last few years I have become more and more conscious of the fact that I am accountable to God for every dollar I spend, and I want to use money well.  However, an idea has been growing in me: There may be a way to use money that may be as good (if not better?) than charity if done correctly.

What I mean is that by spending our money, we are putting it in another's pocket so that it can provide for his/her needs.  So if I participate in my local CSA, I am directly putting money into the farmers' pockets so that they can buy seeds but also help pay for their clothing, bills, mortgage, etc.  However, if I buy food from a large grocery store, I may be putting a lot of money into the pockets of a few CEOs and a few cents on the dollar into the hands of the farmers.  The same thing goes with just about anything you want to buy:  If you buy it as local as possible in as small of a store (or no store!), you are more likely to be getting money directly to someone who is going to use the money to exist and not to buy another private yacht.

Of course, some things make sense to make and distribute on a large scale (I've never heard of a local computer-maker...), but so much of what we need (food, clothing, shelter, etc) and even much of what we don't need can be done at the local level which is awesome.

I think that while there is nothing shameful in accepting assistance when in need, and I think that we absolutely should help people who are in need.  However, I think the idea of supporting our local economy is wonderful because I think it can help fewer people reach the point of being in need of assistance.  I think most people want to work for a living, and local economies can provide rewarding, authentic jobs that will help them do just that.

This is non-partisan, too!  Who doesn't want to support their community?  Liberals want to help the down and out, so let's help prevent people from getting there.  Conservatives want to support small businesses, so let's support them by purchasing from them (even if you pay more than at the bigger store).

When you spend or invest money, you are investing in something and supporting something.  The question is, are you sure you are supporting what you value?  That's something we'll keep striving for throughout our lives.

Compassion

As we near the end of the Easter season, I want to give a shout out to Jesus.  One of the attributes of Jesus that  always moves me is His compassion.  I think that we take it for granted that Jesus was a man of great compassion.  According to the Bible, Jesus was moved with compassion repeatedly.  He felt compassion when He was in the presence of the ill (Matthew 14:14). He felt compassion for his followers when they were hungry (Matthew 15:32).  He had compassion for those debilitated by blindness (Matthew 20:34).  In other stories I sense His compassion even if the Bible does not describe Him as feeling compassion at the moment.  When He speaks gently to the adulteress despite all of the men ready to condemn her.  When he restores His relationship with Peter.  When He raises Lazarus to ease the burden for a widow with no other sons.

When Jesus saw people hurting, He generally seemed to feel compassion, and He would fill the needs of the people around Him.  Ultimately, I believe that Jesus' compassion for us is what led him to the cross.  He saw our need for an ultimate sacrifice to pay off a debt, and so He paid the debt.

I am moved by the compassion shown by Jesus.  Thanks be to God that Jesus didn't just see problems and say, "Well, if they had made better decisions, and if people just did things better, that wouldn't have been a problem.  They really should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make something of themselves!"  Instead, He first met needs, and by doing so He generally seemed to gain favor and followers.

---

Recently, I have been considering how I would like our country to run with the idea of showing compassion as Jesus did.  One current hot topic is the mandate for all people to have health insurance.  This has been brought to the Supreme Court because some feel like it is unconstitutional to mandate that all people buy health insurance.  The Daily Show had a segment about this recently, and I think Jon Stewart really hits the nail at one point.  The following segment has been on my mind for a few days now (NOTE: At the end there are some graphic cartoon beheadings.  I think it's a segment with a great points and it's worth watching, but I  totally admit that the beheadings are gross.  Feel free to stop the video at 3:40 if you have delicate sensibilities!):

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

In this video, Donald Verrilli, the US Solicitor General, says that paying for our health system is predominantly done by health insurance, but over 40 million Americans do not have access to health insurance and for these people our health care system is not working.  Justice Antonin Scalia says that the US federal government is not supposed to be the government that has all the powers, but rather, it is supposed to have limited powers.  Jon Stewart then points out that the government is looking for a way to solve a problem the U.S. citizens have.  Namely, to have a system where insurance companies can afford to take all people (including those with pre-existing conditions, for example), we must have all people participating in the system to share the cost.  Stewart then picks up on a key exchange between General Verrilli and Justice Scalia:

General Verrilli: ...in the health care market, you're going into the market without the ability to pay for what you get, getting the health care service anyway as a result of the social norms that allow — that — to which we've obligated ourselves so that people get health care.

Justice Scalia: Well, don't obligate yourself to that. Why — you know?

And herein lies the crux of the matter! Until another solution is put on the table, the choice being made here is really between providing or denying health care to those without insurance, for whatever reason.

Note: For time purposes, the Daily Show obviously must exclude a lot of the exchange. For the transcript of the case, go here.

Forty million Americans don't have access to health insurance, but they still get sick and injured. How can we not have compassion on them and do what we can to heal them? I may not be able to pay all their medical bills myself, but there is a change to our system that we can make to help them to have access to the care that they need. How can I not support that change?

---

Another group of people who have been the object of scorn is those in the Occupy Wall Street Movement. Mind you, I'm aware of the weaknesses of the movement. However, it's memes like this that make me sad. While I'm sure some people are lazy, wanting too much, etc., is it alright to minimize the legitimate hurts of people due to the issues in our system and country? Do we really still believe that everybody still has equal opportunity in our country? If we don't, how should we react?

In my mind, I would rather be cheated by a lazy person to guarantee that a few other underdogs get what they need. While there are still hungry and homeless in our country, our work isn't done.

---

A song by Derek Webb always stirs my heart.

My Enemies are Men Like Me

I have come to give you life

And to show you how to live it

I have come to make things right

To heal their ears and show you how to forgive them

‘Cause I would rather die

I would rather die

I would rather die than to take your life

‘Cause how can I kill the ones I’m supposed to love

My enemies are men like me

So I will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well

‘Cause my enemies are men like me

Peace by way of war

Is like purity by way of fornication

It’s like telling someone murder is wrong

And then showing them by way of execution

And I would rather die

I would rather die

I would rather die than to take your life

‘Cause how can I kill the ones I’m supposed to love

My enemies are men like me

So I will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well

‘Cause my enemies are men like me

When justice is bought and sold just like weapons of war

Oh, the ones who always pay are the poorest of the poor

So how can I kill the ones I’m supposed to love

My enemies are men like me

So I will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well

‘Cause my enemies are men like me

---

I ache as we struggle to extend our hands to those in need.  I ache as we go to war over and over again and innocent people die for a cause that I cannot name.  I ache for the hungry.  I ache for the cold.  I ache for those who are facing medical debt.

I ache because I know better, but I still don't always offer compassion.

I am grateful that I have opportunities to give compassion.

I am grateful that God is more compassionate and loving than we can imagine.  I celebrate His compassion, and I ask to be able to do my part to extend it to our world.

As we observe Good Friday, I thank Jesus for having compassion for all people.
Happy Easter

The Joneses are on Pinterest now!

One things on my mind recently is the cultural idea of "keeping up with the Joneses".  I'm sure that there has always been pressure to keep up with those around us.  The thing is that those "around us" has changed since the dawn of television and Internet.  We now can see the clothing, furnishings, homes, gadgets, etc. from people from all walks of life but perhaps most often the upper-middle class or above.

If you haven't become acquainted with Pinterest, you might want to consider it.  (Especially if you are not easily addicted to things...)  It is a wonderful place filled with hilarious pictures and sayings, tidbits of wisdom, ideas for crafts, ideas for about anything else that you can imagine, and so much more.  What it can also be is a place for a person to get sucked into while viewing picture after picture of "wants" which then somehow magically turn into "needs".

On Pinterest (or otherwise in life), I ache when I hear of or see my friends falling in love with big houses, fancy architecture, and state-of-the-art stuff.  I just get concerned that they are going to have big dreams that just aren't going to be fulfilled, and I am hoping that they will not be disappointed.  Or worse: bankrupt.

Now, before you get the wrong idea, I want to say that I'm not against having a dream or wanting to appreciate the gifts on earth that God gives.  I'm really not.  I am just concerned that the dreams that we tend to have may be so big and heart-consuming that they may make us unable to even see the gifts God does give us along the way.

I also wonder if setting our dreams on our houses and possessions will keep us from spending our money on that which we value.  In particular, I think that it may play a role in distracting us from the tireless effort of using our resources wisely both in what we buy and in what (and how much) we charitably give away.  I think that in our culture we must battle constantly to protect the portion of our resources that we wish to give away.  There will always be something that we want for ourselves, but there is greater blessing in doing good for others.

So, Dear Friends, please realize that the Joneses have shown up on the Internet, and you really don't have to keep up with them to be happy!  Have fun, admire peoples' ingenuity, and enjoy the beauty of the things that show up on Pinterest.  However, guard your heart and choose your dreams wisely.  Please don't become so impatient for the blessings that you hope come someday that you are blind to the blessings being poured on you everyday.  And please don't reach the end of your life and realize that you never did the good with your resources that you always meant to.   Just my two cents.

Electronics: They come from where?

Note:  Before reading this post, I want to disclose the fact that after I wrote this post I found out that Dr. Daisey perhaps used some creative license to share the information he gave.  It's not that the information about the working conditions is necessarily false, but, from what I can tell, he essentially is telling some true stories and some made-up stories that he believes honestly represents true situations.  The information he gives matches with other sources that I have read, so I still think it is still worth thinking about.  However, I do wish that he hadn't been somewhat "deceptive" in how he delivered the information.

A couple of my friends linked to Mr. Daisey and The Apple Factory on Facebook recently, and one friend asked if I had heard it and said:

"Maybe you could do a blog post about "good" vs. "bad" companies: are there any that are responsible third-world employers? What does that even mean? Which major (tech) manufacturers don't use third-world labor?"

Well, I had not yet listened to the radio show, but I had heard of Foxconn and their policies.  However, I am going to go ahead and listen to the show (which is about an hour long), and I will make notes as I go in case you don't have an hour to listen to such things.  I am taking notes quickly, so let me know if you thing I mistyped something that was said.  The notes are in purple, so you can skip them if you just want to see the punchline at the end: I will tell you my findings about "good" and "bad" companies and third-world labor.

• Daisey loves his electronics, but he points out that he rarely thinks about how things are made.  He says that he sort of assumed that robots made them.  However, he learned that humans are involved in the process, and then he started to think.
• Shenzhen (a city of over 8 million people) is the place in China where almost all our "crap" comes from, yet most of us don't know it's name.  We know the stuff's from China, but we don't realize it usually comes from one specific city.  Corporations made a deal with the Chinese to help create a modern China.  Shenzhen is part of this deal.
• Daisey plans to go to Foxconn which is a company that makes electronics for Apple, Dell, Samsung, Nokia, etc.  He plans to stand at the main gate and talk to anybody who wants to talk to him.  Journalists in Hong Kong tell him it's a bad idea, but he can't get any information through the normal channels.  
• When he got there, he saw that the plant is enormous - 430,000 workers.  There are more than 20 cafeterias at the plant each one holding up to 10,000 people.  (Try to visualize that!)  There are guards at the gate who look "really pissed", and they carry guns.  
• Recently a journalist had been beaten for taking pictures near the Foxconn building.
• Daisey was there right after the successive suicides at Foxconn.  The nets to catch the suicidal people have been put into place.
• A huge line of people show up to talk to him!  They want to tell him the stories of their lives and workplace.
• One lady cleans the screens of I-phones.  She's 13 years old.  Some of her friends have jobs at Foxconn too.  Foxconn doesn't check ages.  During an inspection, Foxconn puts the oldest workers on the inspected line.
• Can Apple not know?  A company obsessed with the details?  Or are they just doing what we're all doing?  Do they seek what they want to see?
• His next plan was to visit a bunch of factories, pretend to be a businessman, and pretend to want to buy whatever factories are selling.
• Each factory had gates and guards.  Then big green lawns and huge lobbies.  The executives come down "in a gaggle" and escort you to a conference room.  Then they show you the factory floor.  The floors are silent.  Nobody is allowed to speak on the line.  The only sound is  bodies moving constantly.
• Anything that can be made by hand is made by hand because the cost of labor is effectively zero.
• The people he talked to worked 12 hour shifts standard, but often much longer than that.  When a "hot new gadget" is coming out, they might work 16 hours or more a day for months.  While he's in the country, a Foxconn worker died after working a 34-hour shift.  That's not the only case of that happening.
• Dormitories are cement cubes.  About 12'x12' with 13-15 beds.  There are cameras in the rooms and hallways.
• The way Daisey sees everything is starting to change.
• He notices that things are still "handmade", just not in the way that we always wish things were handmade.
• Runs through his head: "Paranoia is not paranoia if they're actually out to get you."  He goes to a restaurant to meet with a union interested in labor reform.  These are secret because you can go to prison for years for being involved with one of these unions.  He wants to hear what they have to say.
• There is turmoil is Southern China.  They helped organize a strike in Honda factories.
• n-hexane is used to clean screens, and it's a known neurotoxin.
• Peoples' joints have disintegrated by the time they are 26 of 27 from doing the same motion over and over and over.  Then they are fired.
• If you talk to the labor board about problems, you get put on the black list and you get fired.
• The workers usually never get to see the final product on.  A worker said, "It's a kind of magic," when he got to see an I-pad working.
• His partner (Kathy, a Chinese translator) wonders if they are mentally ill.  "Are they making it up?"  Daisey's answer, "What do you think?"   Kathy says, "No... It's just, you hear stories, but you do not think it is going to be so much, you know?  It's just so much."

The following is the host's responses and further exploration (I didn't do a terrific job with this section, sorry):  

• The host did their best to fact check everything from the excerpt.  The host tried to get Apple and Foxconn to respond, but they refused.
• Only one real objection from Ian Spaulding, founder and managing director of INFACT Global Partners, which goes into Chinese factories and helps them meet social responsibility standards set by Western companies:  There is child labor in China, but not in top-tier electronics factories.  Daisey continues to claim that he met the workers.  Not many, but some.
• Apple found 91 under-aged workers in an audit of it's own factories.  It helped the kids get back in school, and ended working with one supplier.
•  SACOM, Students and Scholars Against Corporate Misbehavior, based in Hong Kong claims:
• The workers are forced to stand to improve productivity
• 10-20% overturn of workers every month
• Workers leaving forces factories to make some improvements
• Apples claims they are 100% transparent, but they refuse to come to the air
• They have a code of conduct the suppliers must comply with, and Apple conducts audits
• If audits don't go well, Apple claims to end work with supplier
• Apple asks suppliers not to use n-hexane
• Daisey is happy they do some things, but he is concerned that even in Apple's own reports, things aren't good.  He thinks companies need to be held responsible, but they won't provide supplier names so that people can independently check up on things.
• The question is, "Should we feel weird about buying these things made faraway?"
• Many say no.  Sometimes the factories are an improvement from other possibilities (including poverty).
• People say that the factories provide employment opportunities in China, especially for young women.  It takes people from the grimness of rice paddies to the grimness of Foxconn.
• Sweatshops are bad, but they help fight poverty.
• "Sweatshops are a phase countries go through."
• Daisey just wants basic worker protection.  Rotate people in jobs in factories.  Inspect without announcement.
• We fought for these things in our country to protect people.  Then we just shipped the jobs to other countries to treat other people as poorly.

"Out of sight, out of mind..."

First of all, the ethics of electronics goes way beyond the serious labor issues.  I just read The Story of Stuff recently, and I learned a lot about electronics.  (I highly recommend that book, by the way!)  The ethical issues begin with sourcing of materials which often damages natural resources in other countries and even forces people off of their land, and the issues end with the fact that electronics are often sent to China at the end of their lifetimes where they are recycled by workers who are not properly equipped to be dealing with the toxins and other nasties that the electronics are filled with.  From beginning to end, and all the way throughout the process, the manufacturing of electronics is a messy process that maybe should probably turn some heads.

Now back to the original concern.  I am similar to Daisey in that I think that we should care that people are not being treated well as they make all of our "crap".  However, in my research, it is really hard to label any company as "good" or "bad".  I have read that HP does a fair amount to try to be "good", but even HP is not close to perfect when it comes to helping the environment or people.

So what should we buy?  There is no black-or-white answer here!  However, first of all, buying used or refurbished is probably best for the environment and people.  Additionally, buying fewer electronic gadgets in general is an option.  If you are going to buy something new, though, you might want to check it out on the Good Guide which is an amazing site (recommended by the author of The Story of Stuff, Annie Leonard).  You can get the Good Guide to rank potential purchases by different issues (environment, society, health, etc).

Other sites that I found interesting:

• Green Peace ranks electronics companies based on environmental concerns
• Here is where HP discusses their supply chain policies.  There website has a lot of information about their social and environmental policies, although it isn't easy to verify that they are maintained.
• This post is a similar discussion to that of this blog post.
• The Ethical Consumer site has information about audio/visual electronics, and they are similar to the Good Guide in purpose.

Good luck to all of you who are interested in being an ethical consumer!  It's not always clear what the best decision is, I don't think, but I personally think that if we choose to work to improve things, things will get better.  At the very least, let's not have the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality anymore.  Let's keep this in the open and keep discussing things because we want to make the world better for everyone.  Additionally, feel free to contact companies when you question their values.  Let them know if you choose another company over theirs because companies will respond to consumer pressure.

Keeping the Baby, but throwing out the Women with the bathwater

If you have been following the headlines much recently, you may have noticed that Susan G. Komen for the Cure has pulled its contributions to Planned Parenthood with the reasoning that they do not give money to agencies under investigation by Congress.

I know that a lot of anti-abortion people rejoice as Planned Parenthood loses funding.  I understand that Planned Parenthood performs many of our nation's abortions, and I guess that the idea is that if they aren't funded as much, then people won't have as many abortions.  I assume that the symbolism of crushing a huge abortion provider is also appreciated.

The thing that bothers me is that I haven't seen a single anti-abortion person or website acknowledge the fact that there will almost definitely be huge negative consequences for pulling funds from Planned Parenthood.  The consequences, in my opinion, deserve consideration.

Here is a side rant.  You can tell because it's in a new color.  While I want abortion to be gone from the world, there are a few reasons why I really struggle to label myself as "pro-life" in the political sense.  One of the reasons is that I feel like there is too much hypocrisy.  The pro-life politicians are the same ones that do not seem to be worried about providing for our poor.  They are the ones who often do not want the government to guarantee healthcare to everybody (instead letting the free market choose who gets healthcare, I assume).  They are the ones who are more likely to jump at going to war.  They are the ones more likely to support capital punishment.  It is fairly convenient to outlaw abortion.  It is incredibly inconvenient to be willing to give up our resources to help those who need it.  If I am going to jump on the "pro-life" train, I need to know that the train is not only concerned about the rights of the baby before it's born, but also the rights and health of the baby (and mother!) throughout life.  Until then, I continue to stand against abortion, but I view it as a cause that is intermingled with other causes that need to simultaneously be addressed if I say I believe in the value of all life.  Which I find that I do!

*ahem* Back to my main post.  The problem is that Planned Parenthood does more than provide abortions.  It is a huge provider of birth control, cancer screenings, preventative education, STD treatment, menopause treatment, etc.  The kicker?  75% of its clients have incomes at or below 150% of the federal poverty level.  (According to Wikipedia.)  This means that millions of poor women are using the Planned Parenthood facilities to participate in potentially life-saving activities.  Additionally, other services provided (like the STD treatment) are generally just improving the quality of life of the individual receiving treatment.

So why is no anti-abortion person talking about the fact that the defunding of Planned Parenthood will likely cause poor women to be less likely to receive the care that they need?  Why are we praising God that Susan G. Komen is removing its funding for cancer screenings?  Doesn't this appear to be callous?  Isn't there more to be talked about here?  

I think babies are incredibly important people, but I don't want to just keep the babies and throw out the women with the bath water.

Note: As I am about to publish this, I found that Susan G. Komen has decided to continue providing Planned Parenthood the grant money to provide cancer screenings and preventative education.  I hope that we can all agree to celebrate the lives that hopefully will be saved or bettered by the treatments provided through this grant money!

Second Note:  Regarding the investigation... I understand that if Planned Parenthood is illegally using federal funds then, from my understanding, it forfeits the right to those funds.  That is a separate issue.

Not just relevant to the past: Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

On this day, many people in our nation get a day off from school or work in honor of someone that our nation has decided is a hero worth honoring.  We know that Dr. King was a huge force that pushed the civil rights movement to a new level.  However, I think that if he visited our nation today, he would probably not think that he could rest.  I believe that he would continue to fight for the underdogs in the system since the civil rights movement did not immediately create balance, and I learned today that he was a activist for the poor as well.

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual doom."  -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Indeed, there was more to Dr. King than we commemorate!  While he was probably speaking out against spending our resources in Vietnam (a war which he opposed) when he said this, would he feel much different about the endless wars that we have been in since his untimely passing?  How would he feel about how we treat those in poverty today?  Would he think that we are sufficiently lifting them up?

I don't believe that Dr. King's goals for the US must be your goals.  I don't believe that he was a perfect man with all the right ideas.  However, from what I have heard, I do believe that he was a hero, and I respect him.  As such, I think that it is worth considering his ideas outside of the realm of civil rights.  So, as you go about your day, perhaps you can take a few moments to honor our hero by asking yourself what you are called to do to uplift those who need uplifting.

"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."  -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

May we live unselfish lives filled with love.  I leave you with a favorite quotation of mine:

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."  --Martin Luther King, Jr.

Because things are complicated...

... I write this post.  I reposted this meme on Facebook yesterday:

I do not know where this image originally came from!  I found it here,
but they do not state where they got it from.

I then explained what I thought when I saw it:

"I suppose that some explanation would be good, too. I'm not positive what was intended by these photos, but what I see is the irony of people thanking God for food that was provided to them (so cheaply!) at the expense of the underpaid, overworked workers. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it though, and perhaps it's just making the point that we should be grateful for our farmworkers (especially since they don't get paid much... and they are part of the reason food is so cheap...)

I stand by the point of irony, though."

I think that some people may have interpreted my words as saying that the family was conscious at the time of thanking God that their food was likely provided by workers that were, in some peoples' opinions, unfairly treated.  That honestly wasn't what was happening in my mind.  I was just noticing that in our system, we end up regularly thanking God for His provision, and to me something is wrong with this because it is hard for me to say that "God's provision" is food provided by workers in horrible conditions.  Minus the provision of the sun, the rain, and the beauty of growing plants, I do not see a lot of God in our food system.  This is where I find unfortunate irony.

Before I continue, I want people to realize that I am not suggesting that families starve before buying unfairly provided food.  Life is not black and white.  We all have our own decisions to make and battles to fight.

Now, here is where I confess that I draw these conclusions on my own.  There is nothing in the Bible saying that the US food system is broken.  There is nothing stating how much farm workers should make.  There is nothing stating how often farm workers should get breaks.  There is nothing stating how much compensation they should get when they get injured doing their jobs.  It is not even a church teaching that leads me to my conclusions.  I have not yet found a church who openly speaks about these things.  It is my own personal convictions that lead me to want others to know more about our system so that they can make their decisions based on knowledge.  I do not claim to be God's voice although I believe that He is the root of my passion for these issues.  If you disagree with me, that is certainly your right.  I'm human.  It's a humble position.  I could be wrong.

If I am honest, though, I do personally believe that Christians are sorely lacking when it comes to responding to issues of social justice.  I think that this happens partially because the issues are very complicated and not very self-apparent.  When you buy green beans at the store, you probably don't even think about where it came from or who picked it.  This isn't because you are a bad person, but it is because it is not how our culture works.  However, I also believe this happens because Christians do not separate themselves from the rest of culture when it comes to consumer habits.  While we say that "whatever we do, whether in word or deed, we do it for the glory of God" (or at least make it our goal), I think that somehow our consumer decisions are often made based off of the black and white ethical guide of, "Can I afford it or not?"  While certainly it is good to avoid debt if possible, I believe that a lot more should go into the decision to purchase almost any sort of item.  Food is certainly one example.  Another example that has gone painfully ignored is the use of sweatshops around the world to create almost all of the consumer goods that we buy: clothing, toys, electronics, etc.  Unlike our food system, I do believe that it is widespread knowledge that sweatshops are a problem, but I do not observe that Christians have, in my opinion, reacted accordingly.

I know I am not perfect.  I do try to buy food from farmers making fair wages.  I do this by trying to buy most things from local farms and looking for the fair trade certification.  I buy what I can from the co-op in Corvallis since I know they research the origins of products as much as they can.  However, there is a chance that some of my food still comes from poorly treated workers.  I also try to avoid sweatshop labor by buying almost everything used.  However, even in the last year I couldn't find a used soap dispenser (which I wanted to buy to use for homemade tooth soap so that we could stop buying toothpaste), so I ended up buying a new one.  I looked, and it had the typical "Made in China" sticker, and I felt the pang of guilt, praying that the workers who made it were treated well and apologizing if they weren't.  I know I am not perfect.


It is with humbleness that I ask you to weigh my words in your heart and decide for yourself whether or not these are problems that you are called to address in your life.  I don't expect anybody will be perfect, but I think that with God we can change the world just by trying to do right!  I personally believe that our government can be used to effect positive change as well, and I encourage you to use your voice in our democracy.  However, I think it would be huge and beautiful if we all work to put our money in positive places.

Because things are complicated... I ask you to consider my words and ideas.
Because things are complicated... I come to you humbly.  I could be wrong.
Because things are complicated... I hope to give and receive grace if and when we disagree.

Thank you for all of you who take the time to read my words on this blog.  I hope that I generally come across as informative and maybe occasionally inspiring rather than judgmental and critical.  I love you all!

The Obsession with "New"

In my experience, when there is a drive for toys, clothes, etc. to help families, there is often a mandate that donations be new items.  I understand that it is not as sacrificial or desirable to give someone else your worn out clothing or half-broken toys.  I also understand that people are requiring this out of a good heart because they feel like since they don't give used gifts to their own families and friends, why should other families have to get used gifts?

It's just that I think the question should be, "Why shouldn't I give already-been-loved gifts to my family and friends?"  The answer in our household is, "No reason.  Do it."

For this reason, it actually becomes a very odd experience to want to give items to people in need and to be told that I have to buy new items.  Here are some thoughts that end up going through my head:

"I rarely buy anything new... period."

"We can't always all have new things.  There is so much stuff already floating around needing a good home to use it up.  By always demanding new, we are effectively taking away at least some of ability for future generations to have the resources and ability to make their own new products."

"If I am buying something new, I feel led to research my item to buy something that was made in a way that tried to avoid harming the environment and did not exploit human workers."

"New things cost a lot.  If a family needs hand towels, why can't I buy a few adorable, gently-used towels at a thrift shop for way less money?  Then I can use the rest of the money to do more to help people out."

I love that people want to meet others' real needs, and if you have ever done so then awesome!  If done out of compassion and generosity, then your good heart is admirable.  I'm just saying: Here's for creating a culture that views used goods as valuable and equally awesome instead of "cheap" and of poor taste.  After all, I'm not too good for something someone else no longer wanted/needed... Are you?

Solar Lighting

While solar lighting doesn't make a lot of sense to me right now as I look outside at a gray, cloudy day, it does make all kinds of sense to people in sub-Saharan Africa.  This post talks about how much sense it makes when compared to the alternative -- often kerosene.  It also make sense because it can free up a significant portion of a person's income!

In case the term "solar light" is new to you, the light is simply a lamp that contains a rechargeable battery and is charged by a photovoltaic panel (like those you see on roofs, only little).

After considering the list of projects, Matthew and I found Solar Sister to be the one that most caught our attention (although there are a lot of other wonderful projects...)  What appealed to us was the fact that a donation would provide the means for a woman to gain income through the sales of these solar lights.  It reminded us of Kiva.  (Speaking of which, have you set up an account at www.kiva.org yet?  Because it's awesome.  Seriously.)

What's going on out there...

I've been reading and listening to some interesting things this week, so I thought I'd share some of them here.

First up is an article about how large multinational corporations are marketing their junk food products to new people... the poor and malnourished around the world.  It really does bother me that corporations are willing to grow at the expense of the health and well-being of people.  Want to know what you can do to help?  My personal method is to do my best to avoid products from large companies unless I figure out that they're a good company.  Every time I spend money, I view it as a vote in my mostly capitalistic economy.  If you want something else to do, I think that it might also be good to write to corporations to let them know how you feel and why you will not buy their product.

The next article discusses the future of global warming and some geoengineering ideas of how to combat it.  It really scares me to have humans try to play with the atmosphere, clouds, etc to try to affect our climate.  I totally understand why they are considering these ideas, and I respect them for acknowledging that this would be a last ditch attempt to buy more time for humanity to stop destroying our home (you know, Earth), but I think that such a large-scale action that cannot really be tested in advance could also be devastating.  The idea of temperatures rising 11.5 degrees Fahrenheit over the next 90 years is overwhelming, too.  I know I will only be around so long, but I'd really like for my children and grandchildren to be able to live a peaceful life and enjoy our beautiful planet.  (To Christians who believe that Jesus will return and make it all better before any of this happens, I must say this:  You don't know that.  We have no guarantee that we won't destroy much of our population in the years to come.  God loves us, but He certainly is not obligated to miraculously save us from our own selfish actions, right?)  Want to know what you can do?  Take some time to learn about what's going on.  Be willing to change yourself.  Be willing to speak out at the political level.  Again, vote with your money.  Learn to live differently, and pray that your life will positively affect others.

Up next is a video of a young man speaking about how he was raised by a lesbian couple.  When I was adamantly against the legalization of gay marriage, I was asked why it mattered if a homosexual couple had the same legal rights as a heterosexual couple.  The reason that I was taught to give was that adopted babies wouldn't be given as good of a home to live in.  Now I just don't think this argument is fair, and I don't think it should be used.  I do think that children should having loving relationships with both men and women (opinion, not fact), but I think that a homosexual couple could ensure that this happens through extended family, church family, and other groups.  I know that not everybody out there agrees with me, and I think that everybody has the right to their own opinion, and they should vote for what they believe is right.  I just encourage people to think about their decision and be open to listening to God even if it might mean changing.  At this point in my life, I feel strongly that I need to support homosexual couples in their endeavor to be accepted in society.  I tend to believe that in 100 (or fewer) years, people will look back and view the efforts to prevent gay marriage similarly to how most of us view the efforts to prevent interracial marriage (which was also justified using the Bible).

Speaking of interracial marriage... Here we have an example of a church who still struggles to accept that it is truly alright.  If this isn't a humbling example of why we should keep our heart open to change, I don't know what is.  What comes to mind is: Live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God...  (Micah 6:8 for those of you who are amazed that I'd come up with something so lovely on my own... I didn't!)

I will leave you with a really neat story about a man who, to me, seemed to follow the teachings and show the love of Jesus.  I have no clue whether or not the man was intending to do so, but my heart tells me that God was in the details.

The Occupy movement... money... life... and stuff

Unless I have written a post that I have forgotten about, I think that so far I have not said anything about the Occupy movement sweeping the nation.  I have mixed feelings about the movement.  I am so happy that people are able and willing to assemble to express their dissatisfaction about a system that has failed them (or not them, but people they know).  I am concerned that the movement has no clear direction and will thus fizzle out without causing change.  When doing a sit-in type protest, it seems like it is vital to have a list of demands.  With that, I actually really want to talk about the reactions to the movement that I have heard.  Not that this is a new thing to hear, but one recurring response is essentially the thought that the people participating in the movement are freeloaders who need to go get a job, any job, and stop trying to get pity.

It breaks my heart to hear people speak about the jobless, homeless, and penniless (especially when including debt like student loans) in this way.  It ignores the elephant in the room:  The way our system currently works does not give the same opportunity to every American in the room.  What's more, our system is not fair.

I can go on and on about what is unfair about our system.  It includes the fact that we bail out big banks while still foreclosing on peoples' home.  It includes the fact that not all public schools are created equal, and the richer your area is, the nicer the public school probably is.  It includes that fact that our government's decisions are being affected by the people with the most money more than those with no money.

I am an example of our unfair system.  My mom stayed at home with me and she and my dad both gave me a jump start in my education; I could even read before kindergarten thanks to my parents dedication to reading to and with me.  My parents also had enough money to give me a chance to be involved in sports and other activities through my K-12 education.  Being educated themselves, they helped me to value learning and education.  My dad, being a high school counselor, helped me prepare for college when I was in elementary school by teaching me to save my money and do my best in school.  Not only that, but by luck of the draw, my very genetics allowed me to get straight A's in high school.  Add the activities I participated in (thanks to my parents' ability to make sure I had transportation) and the fact that I happened to be in a small school, and I was a great candidate for scholarships.  I took my eighteen years of privilege to OSU, and I worked hard, and I got enough scholarships to live on each year as long as I lived frugally (which my parents also taught me to do).  I also finished needing summer jobs before the economic crash, so I could earn money each summer.  We also believe that possibly the only reason Matthew has a job now is that (through his own story of privilege) he had an internship at the company that hired him.  Matthew was applying to entry-level positions and never receiving a response despite his grades and internship experience.

I've had people tell me I've done a good job and that I have earned my achievement, and yes, I have worked hard.  However, it's just not fair.  What about the people who could have found stability if born into the same privilege?  What about the simple truth that I would almost certainly not be this well off if I hadn't been a product of all those factors that had absolutely nothing to do with my choices?

So, to me, it goes beyond asking for our system to be fixed of its glaring faults.  It's about being humble about my position of power and compassionate to those who have need, not from fault of their own, but because of circumstances out of their control.

I had three things that I was looking forward to as we exited college: starting a family, buying a house (and more importantly, some land), and having more money to give away.

We've always agreed as a couple that tithing (the literal 10%) is something we should do but should not ever be the end of our giving.  Even throughout college, we had a few extra good things that we made sure to support, but I felt that as we entered the middle class, we'd have a chance to do more.  Immediately upon Matthew starting work, though, I realized that it can take some time to save up for a down payment for a home.  While we don't need a house right away (or technically ever), I think it makes sense for us to own, and as quickly as possible, because I want to make good use of the space through gardening, storing food, maybe having chickens, allowing kids a space to run free and learn about the land, etc.  The "as quickly as possible" part comes from the fact that every month we are shelling out $770 in rent, and while some of that would be going to property taxes and the like, I'd say at least $500 a month is really going toward nothing.  I'd rather be using this money to pay off the house.

So, as we start making more money, I immediately start feeling like we need to make sure that we are saving a fair amount which terrifies me.  I am horrified about always feeling like I need something and, as a result, never giving as much as I can.  From what I have experienced, it seems that no matter how rich people are, they seem to always feel the need to hang onto their money.  People making $20,000 say that if they made even just $50,000, they could give more away.  People making $50,000 say that if they made $100,000, they'd give more away.  If we all do this, it's no wonder that there's a lack of "giving away" in this world.   Financially, and for the lifestyle we live, I still believe it makes sense to aim to own a house.  In the long run, this type of purchase can actually free up more money.

Before I fell asleep last night, I made a decision to remain open to giving freely even while we are saving for a home.  I have a couple specific things I plan to do, and the rest I hope to remain sensitive to.

May God poke me with a big stick if I ever lose passion for doing my part in this earth and instead gain interest in my own first-world wants.  If God seems to be holding off on poking me, it might be because He's hoping one of you will.  Please do!

The argument matters

I recently wrote a post about abortion, and since then I have been considering the stereotypical pro-life voice and why it makes me want to fight against it even when I think we agree that part of our well-wishes for the world include the wish that that there weren't abortions.  I have realized that, oddly enough, it is the way that logic is used to support the pro-life cause that is one of the biggest reasons that I felt like I couldn't support it.  I'll give you some examples that you almost undoubtedly have heard before.

"Life begins at conception."
This is certainly a valid viewpoint.  Certainly we can all recognize that a human life begins somewhere.  It is the use of the Bible to back this assumption that bothers me.  I don't think that there is any verse in the Bible to back this up.  I once had a person tell me that "God told us that He knit us together in the womb", and this was part of his/her rationale for the biblical support of a fetus being a human being.  From what I can tell, there are a few errors in that logic.  First, the verse in the Bible that he/she was referring to was Psalm 139:13 where the psalmist (David, in this case) told God, "For your created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."  So, this is not God speaking, but David.  Of course, if one believes that what David was saying was inspired, inerrant truth from God, then the point still stands.  (However, I request that you read Psalm 139:21-22 and ask if the same logic can be used to say that God wants us to hate our enemies.)  Regardless of whether this was God's inspiration or simply David's poetic devotion to God, this verse says absolutely nothing about when God starts knitting us. It is still an unjustified claim that it is at conception when this process begins.

"Abortion is MURDER!!!"
This is of course assuming the first point, that life begins at conception (or at least by the time you realize you're pregnant.)  Of course, I'm not going to bother with discussing the point that murder is wrong.  However, I think that the question, "What is murder?" has been left unanswered or is incomplete, and this is fundamental here.  I think that the Christians saying this would probably answer that murder is the killing of an (innocent) human being.  (Tell me if I'm wrong!)  I add innocent because the pro-life camp generally tends to be for capital punishment (justified by the Old Testament stonings, or at least that was how I justified it in my past).  From what the Bible relates to us, God told Israel to go into nations and kill all men, women (including the pregnant ones), and children (including infants).  I think that infants are generally considered fairly innocent, so is God now commanding Israel to commit murder?   What about soldiers killing civilians (again including pregnant women and infants) in wars?  By supporting any war, are we supporting murder?  Perhaps at this point we redefine murder to be illegal killing or killing with malice aforethought, but then we've now defined murder to not include most abortions.  I suppose there is an occasional women who has malice aforethought when having an abortion, but as far as I know, most are just scared and concerned about the implications of bringing a baby into the world.

"If you believe in legalized abortion, you are going against God/are not Christian/are for murder/etc!"
I personally have never had anybody explain to me why followers of Jesus are required by the Bible to push for their own morals to become state/federal law.  I mean, I think we are all glad that we don't have some laws about morality so that we can stand together as a nation in the support of people not shooting people and not stealing others' possessions.  However, I have not yet heard, or found for myself, biblical justification for being mandated to regulate people at all (especially those outside of the Christian church).  Feel free to point me to a verse if you think that it provides the mandate to regulate.

It is funny for me to write this post since I have actually proclaimed all of these italicized things with righteous certainty at some point in my life.  I knew I was right and that I had God on my side, and it was a powerful feeling.  It was also really nice to feel like I could have all of the answers.  Doubt and ambiguity lead to some serious wrestling, and it's not always easy.

I write this post mostly to those of you who feel like I do: Concerned about women, concerned about babies, but also put-off by the pro-life arguments including the ones I listed, and many others, that we hear over and over.  I am personally worried that these arguments that we hear are doing damage as they frustrate people and damage the credibility of a legitimate cause.  For what it's worth, I personally feel like abortion, like miscarriage, is not the way God wishes for a pregnancy to be ended.  I believe that regulation for abortions should be on the political table; however, I think it is equally important to consider the underlying causes of these abortions so that we can serve women in a way that prevents unwanted pregnancies and supports and enables women once they become pregnant.  In the end, I can't find a verse in the Bible that tells us not to have abortions, and I certainly can't find a verse that tells us that we have to regulate abortion.  It is through various teachings about love, life, and helping those around us that in my heart I reach my conclusions about abortion.  It's subjective, but most of the decisions we make in life really are.  I'm doing my best.

Last night I stumbled upon this website, and I read a bunch of what they have on their website.  Gosh, I love that they make it clear that their genuine interest is in respecting and valuing women as well as babies.  Their target group is college-aged women since apparently that is a the group in which about half of US abortions occur, and I was filled with joy when their methods to help prevent these abortions was to empower women to be able to have their child and stay in school.  They also graciously acknowledge that most women really don't want to have an abortion, but the women also don't want to drop out of college, and women tend to think one or the other needs to happen.  It just thrills me that this organization works to help people in a way that does not condemn or judge them but rather gives women a new perspective about their worth and their ability to raise a child and not spend the rest of their lives in poverty.

A challenge for Christians

The rest of you are welcomed to join us, but you probably will find that you don't have the same problem. ;)

When I get all gung ho about Jesus in high school, I find myself split between my "Christian friends" and my "non-Christian or people-who-call-themselves-Christian-but-I-don't-consider-real-Christian friends".  I spend most of my time with my "Christian friends", but I make sure to be self-sacrificing and spend time with the other group too.  After all, Jesus loves those sinners.  Perhaps if I spend one more lunch period with them, they too shall be saved.  What kind of Christian would I be if I didn't sacrifice my time to try to save these people?  I just make sure to interject and let them know when they are saying or doing ungodly things so that they can become more aware of how wicked they are.  Plus, I don't want to stand for wickedness myself!  I must say something!  I am offended when they reject my faith.

Now in college, I start out spending time with different types of people, but I quickly wind up having almost a purely Christian social group.  I have my Christian roommate, my boyfriend's Christian co-op, my Campus Crusades Bible study...  Now I can pray for all these poor people in my dorm and classes who are off getting drunk on Thursday instead of worshiping Jesus!

In high school and college, I am offended by the swear words people say.  I am appalled by the girls' clothing.  I am shocked by pre-marital sex.  I am trying to keep myself from being contaminated by all of the horrible sin around me.  I am distressed when I must argue with yet another person about why my views about religion, abortion, homosexuality, politics, etc are Bible-based and thus correct!

I am telling Jesus that He made a mistake when He broke bread with sinners.  I am telling Him that they are too offensive.  I am telling Him that He should be trying to reason with them about truth instead of leading them there with love.  I am a Pharisee asking, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" because even when I am around sinners, my attitude is not that of respect and unconditional love.  Jesus seems comfortable with these people.  He fits in without being aloof.  He is respected and loved.  He meets needs without making demands of people.

Jesus answered me, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick."

Here's the challenge, Christians:  Go through your Facebook friends and figure our what percentage of them are Christians.  What about your in-person friends?  What would you guess the percentage to be?  When you do spend time with your "non-Christian" friends, are you being their friend and meeting their needs, or is your only thought to chalk up another tally mark on your personal chalkboard for Jesus.  What actions show God's love?  What can you do to share the compassion, care and understanding of Jesus?

If you are like me during high school and college, you might be legitimately uncertain of how to act around people who don't know share your faith.  It took me years during college to change my very attitudes so that I could be graceful around people I didn't agree with.  In grad school, a few of my closest friends were lovely people that do not choose to follow Jesus.  They are still my friends even after moving away from them.  With these friends, I feel like I finally did a decent job of loving them and sharing my life and faith while remaining respectful of their right to choose their beliefs.  Here are some of the things I ran through my head to make sure that I remained Christian-but-not-obnoxiously-so:

• To be friends with anybody, I have to be able to give grace when I find I disagree.  I do this for my Christian friends, so I can do this for my non-Christian friends.
• I can acknowledge a person's opinions and beliefs without agreeing with them.  I appreciate it when others do the same for me.
•  I can also share countering beliefs... when appropriate.  I don't always have to make sure that people realize that I disagree with them.
• Loving someone doesn't mean interjecting "Jesus" into as many conversations as possible.
• It is OK to accept love and support from non-Christians.  

OK non-Christian friends... I've left you out for too long.  Thank you for being patient with me as I have stumbled in learning about how to be a Christian and a good friend.  Thank you for not abandoning me if/when I was obnoxious.  Thank you for listening to my beliefs and considering them (and not thinking I'm crazy for loving and following a man who lived, died and came back from the grave over 2000 years ago...).  Please feel free to talk to me any time about questions and thoughts about faith... even if you're telling me that you don't agree with me.  

The Oregon Food Bank

Since moving to Aloha, I have found that I have a fair amount of free time and no friends nearby.  To combat both of these issues, one of my thoughts was that I could volunteer somewhere.  I searched on Craigslist for awhile with no great opportunities popping out at me, but this past Saturday I somehow ran across the possibility of volunteering at OFB.  The Beaverton warehouse is about three miles away, so I signed up for a couple of hours today, and I ended up packing a bunch of frozen carrots into family-sized (3 pounds) packages for distribution.  I met a few nice ladies, and we ended up working with a group of students from a high school.  It turned out that in about an hour and a half or so, we prepared about 5,000 pounds of food for distribution which is a lot of food.  I really enjoyed doing this, and when I got home, I signed up for a few more shifts in the coming weeks.

For those of you who don't know much about this organization, it is a private non-profit that does a lot of work to try to prevent Oregonians from going hungry.  OFB is centered in Portland, but, if I remember correctly, the central Portland warehouse works with/feeds into 20 other warehouses across the state, and each of these warehouses works with smaller agencies that actually do the food distribution or cook the food for people to eat (like soup kitchens).  Even better, OFB is genuinely interested in helping prevent hunger, so they run free classes that teach people how to make good food choices to stretch their food dollars farther, how to cook inexpensive and nutritious meals, and how to grow gardens to produce their own food.  A couple blocks from the warehouse that I was working in was a garden that OFB runs, and they use this garden to teach people, and they also use it to create produce (5,000 pounds this year so far as of a few weeks ago) for the food bank.  Additionally, OFB advocates at a legislative level to speak for the hungry and poor in our state.

I really like the idea of doing something to help people be able to feed their families.  I think Jesus had compassion for the hungry, and I want to share in His vision for a world where people are not in need.  It would be very cool if we could all reach out to the people around us who are in need and spread our resources that way, but that is clearly not working, and I think that from my research and experience so far at OFB, it is a great (and perhaps efficient) way to reach out to people in need.  I maybe handled 100-200 bags of carrots today, so I feel like I'm now involved in that many people's lives.

Apparently Oregon is the "second hungriest" state, following Mississippi, I believe, in the nation right now.  The people in our state have been hit very hard by our economy, and OFB is distributing record numbers of emergency food boxes.  From the OFB website, "As a result of growing levels of long-term unemployment, 260,000 people per month eat meals from emergency food boxes. Of those, 85,800 are children. For the first time ever, Oregon Food Bank distributed more than 1 million emergency food boxes in fiscal year 2010-11."  People are hungry!

If you are interested in working with OFB, visit their website.  If you want to find your regional center, you can find that here.  You can also dig around a bit to find local agencies to work with if you want to be a part of actually distributing the food to people.  Of course, OFB takes donations, too.  They accept food donations, and if you find your region's food center, you should be able to either find a list of drop-off sites on their website, or you will be able to find a number to call to ask for this information!  If you want to get more food for your dollar, I'd recommend donating money directly to OFB.  By using their connections and by buying bulk, they can get four pounds of food for a dollar, and that's just impressive.
I think that's all I can think of to say for now, but please let me know if you have any questions!

Famine in East Africa

I find it appropriate that just after I posted yesterday about having problems finding "the right food" to eat, I learn today that millions in Somalia, Ethiopia, and Kenya are facing a famine.  Perspective!

One blog I follow has a post that talks a little bit about the impacts of the famine, and it also has a suggestion of a campaign taking funds to help relieve the people in East Africa.  In short, crops have failed for a few years, and food has run out for many families.  People are dying quickly, and many more are malnourished so there is concern that the death toll will continue to grow.  If you are so inclined, please feel free to donate to help the people at this page.  I should at least mention on my own post that the money will be distributed to World Vision which is a Christian humanitarian organization that has been helping the people in this area for decades and is stepping up to continue to help during this time of crisis.

If you want to help but you don't find yourself wanting to give to World Vision, this CNN article has more options for people accepting money.  If you can't give money right now, you can certainly pray for the people in need and/or make others who might be able to contribute money know that there is a need for humanitarian aid!  Matthew has a news feed that he follows for news stories, and I don't think that this famine ever showed up, so we didn't know about it.  Perhaps there are others who have not learned about it?

If you want to learn more about the famine, if you Google "famine in Africa" or "famine in Somalia", you will be able to find more news about it.

Thanks for considering these families in need!

Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew...

And wuv, twue wuv, wiww fowwow you fowevah...  Like an adorable puppy, one would presume, because that's exactly how love works!  :)


On the eve of our third anniversary, I am here re-contemplating the vexing passage of the Bible where Paul suggests to the Ephesian wives that they should submit to/obey/support/be subject to (or whatever verb your translation uses) their husbands.  Here I stand as a woman in the 21st century still trying to decide what exactly this verse means to my marriage.  I am wary of Paul's writings about women because I think that they have been used widely to crush women.  I think the writings have been used to keep women from being as productive, contributive members of society as possible.  I don't mean to necessarily blame Paul; I'm sure that I can hardly understand the culture and society of his day.  I also can't easily fathom what it would be like in a society where women were not educated and were generally not valued as much as a man.  (I pause to acknowledge that some women still suffer from this condition, but I feel like we have at least progressed greatly as a whole.)  Perhaps he was just helping his followers find order in the society they lived in.  Or perhaps we still don't quite understand Paul's intent.


I think that from my conservative Christian background, I had the impression that submission to my husband would mean giving in and letting him have his way whenever we disagree.  Fortunately, I did not come from a tradition where submitting meant obeying as a child would (even being subjected to physical punishment), although I have read writings written by people from that tradition.  I remember that when Matthew and I were engaged, my dad was concerned about using the traditional phrase, "to honor and obey."  Since these vows were the promises we were making to each other for life, it was a fair concern.  If I made that promise, I would be promising to follow Matthew and go along with what he chose for us without a fight... even if I knew it to be wrong. ("Why yes, honey!  Let's have our children get married at the age of six years old so that we can make sure we get to choose their spouse!  I'm your wife, and it's your idea, so it must be a good idea because I don't want to get spanked!" We didn't ever use that phrase in our vows, for the record.) 


My dad was even concerned with the word "submit" (which we also didn't end up using), and this I remember discussing with him at length.  At that point in life, I believed that the Bible was the Word of God that was to be taken literally at face value.  My translation told me that I was supposed to submit, so I was supposed to submit, of course!  Looking back now, I can recognize that in my conversations with my dad I didn't really know what it meant practically to submit to a husband in the first place!


I have shocked and appalled some people by now.  I say that because old-Karen would have been shocked and appalled!  I want to say that I absolutely care about how Matthew and I relate in marriage.  I want the peace and joy between us that comes from loving each other sincerely and a deep faith in God.


I just don't want to do it blindly, and I want it to be as true and healthy a relationship as possible.


Here is what I've been thinking about how we relate to each other recently.  We both consider each other's opinions and needs when making decisions.  Instead of doing whatever is best for ourselves, we work together as a team to live a fulfilling life that makes both of us happy.  For example, if I was single I would not be considering moving to Beaverton right now!  I think that I'd stay in Corvallis and work at LBCC or OSU.  However, we work as a team, and I will happily follow him where he goes because it benefits both of us in the long run.  Additionally, neither of us always wins.  Matthew, being the bigger introvert, prefers staying at home almost all the time.  I, being the lesser introvert, merely want to stay at home much of the time!  Sometimes we go out when he wants to stay in, and sometimes we stay in when I want to go out.  We both make sacrifices since we cannot change these inherent parts of our personalities.  We don't always agree on everything, but we listen to each other and try to understand each other and respect the other person's conclusion.  We both try to maintain peace by putting the other person's needs before our own.  Matthew washes the dishes sometimes even when it's my turn because sometimes I'm just tired or grumpy.  Now that's love.


Once again, disclaimer: I'm not saying that our marriage is perfect.  However, it in general feels very balanced, sustainable, and peaceful.  We do have our own set of personalities, so our marriage probably looks very different than other marriages that are 'equally successful'!

Perhaps the point is that regardless the time and age, husbands and wives need to do what they need to do to cooperate and get along in a manner that promotes love, peace and a happy household.  However, I don't know if I've ever heard a sermon or even many discussions about the idea about how husbands and wives relate that really get into the actual nitty gritty, day-to-day understandings of how husbands and wives relate to other in this day and age.  I feel like there is often a fear of dishonoring God or being blasphemous if we don't stick to the well-worn words about how women are supposed to be submissive (and subservient...) to their husbands.  I tend think that God can handle a sincere and thoughtful questioner, and I believe that He'd just love for us to search for a meaningful understanding of the bigger truth about marriage that can't even begin to be contained in a book.  So I think that we're free to discuss, be thoughtful, ask God, and look for some applicable truth in the matter!

On the vows note, here are our vows from three years ago:

"Today, Karen/Matthew, I take you to be my wife/husband.
I make a commitment to you today:
With God's help I will love and serve,
Honor, and protect you.
I'm choosing today
to spend the rest of my life with you.
I will walk with you when life is good,
and thru every storm.
Karen/Matthew, you are a gift to me from God.
I hope others see His heart and love,
in the way I care for you.
Today, I pledge my love to you."


And I still mean every word!  I love you, Matthew!

Matthew and Karen on dating, engagement, and marriage

Recently I stumbled onto a website that was created because the creator thought that the internet was abundant in advice for finding the right guy to date but not for figuring out who to marry.  The website seemed to focus on becoming a good woman that would be able to have a good marriage.  I think that this is an admirable goal, and I think that men and women should both think about what kind of person he/she wants to commit to and what kind of person he/she can be to nurture a healthy marriage. As our third anniversary comes up, I figure that maybe we have something to say on the subject.  I don't claim to have the answers to everything, but I can talk about what we have learned.  In fact, I can also rope my husband into talking about what he has learned too!  While we're not perfect, I'd have to say that we are stable, happy, and loving, and that's a good place to be.  Matthew and I answered some questions that I would have been interested in reading about especially before marriage, and I recorded our answers in the rest of this blog.  We were typing our answers simultaneously which is the cause of the overlap in our answers.  If you have other questions that you want to have answered, please leave a comment, and I'll make sure that we both answer your questions! :)


Q: In the beginning, how did you decide to date each other?
Karen: Honestly, I almost didn't.  I was just finishing getting over a break-up, and Matthew's first impression on me was actually a bit overwhelming!  Not that I should judge people based on fashion, but a man speaking in weird accents while wearing a t-shirt tucked into pleated khakis with a belt holding a cell phone was not the type of person that I ever imagined dating.  Fortunately, I am not as picky when it comes to friends!  Once I got to know him (and perhaps helped him shop for a pair of jeans...), I eventually realized that he was actually a pretty interesting, and very nice, guy.  It still took me awhile to feel comfortable with the idea of dating because I wasn't in a hurry to get my heart broken again, but in the end I decided to take the risk because he seemed to be worth it.
Matthew: We started out being friends, which let us get to know each other before dating. When we realized that we both liked each other and wanted to consider moving the relationship to the level of dating, we both took time to think and pray about whether we should do so or not. We both wanted to get into a romantic relationship only if we thought it had the potential to move beyond dating. After thinking and praying for a few weeks, we felt that this relationship did have that potential, so we decided to start dating.

Q: When did you start to be "serious"?
Matthew: We started talking about "serious" relationship issues right from the beginning of our dating relationship, and we went into dating with the understanding that the relationship had the potential to lead to marriage, so I would say we were "serious" from the very beginning of our dating.
Karen: Almost immediately.  I didn't want to date if I wasn't serious because broken attachments are lame.  I didn't want to get married right away, but I wanted to date only someone I could marry.

Q: What did you discuss before you got engaged?
Karen: Pretty much anything we considered important to us and some things that weren't.  Faith, practice of faith, family, friends, how to split work/household/child rearing duties, money, use of time.  We also probably made fun of physics (because it's so laughable).
Matthew: We talked about everything we could think of that would potentially affect our relationship before getting engaged. We talked about our faith, kids (how many, etc.), various life goals (careers, etc.), money, splitting up chores/work/etc.

Q: Did you agree on everything?
Karen: Pretty much on these really important matters.
Matthew: Yes, or at least I don't remember anything that we disagreed on that was important.

Q: Was there anything you didn't agree about?  Or anything that bothered you about each other?
Karen: One thing that bothered me about Matthew sometimes was the fact that he wouldn't want to try anything new.  I'd want to go running in the snow, go dancing, or do something social, and he'd rather stay home.
Matthew: Of course we had things that bothered each other or points where we disagreed. For example, Karen really didn't like my clothing and facial hair choices, and I found her mild OCD annoying at times.

Q: Did anybody change as a result of these disagreements?
Karen: Matthew made a few clothing (and facial hair...) changes at my request near the beginning of our relationship.  I'd have to say that we certainly didn't change our personalities though!

Q: How did you decide to get engaged?
Karen: It really was just the next step in the relationship.  We were getting to the point where we felt old enough and responsible enough to start a life together.  We talked about it thoroughly beforehand, but after sharing a couple of years together, I felt confident that we could continue to share years until death do us part.  Matthew was an important part of my life, I loved him, and I could see us spurring each other to be better people for the rest of our lives.
Matthew: We actually might as well have been engaged before we actually got engaged. As our relationship matured, we talked about marriage and got to know and love each other more. Eventually we got to a point where we had decided that we wanted to get married, but just not when. Our decision as to when to get engaged was based on when we thought it would be a good idea to get married as far as life events went, balanced out by our impatience to BE married already ;).

Q: Did you ever live together during this time?  Why or why not?
Matthew: No.
Karen: No, we didn't.  We both had strong beliefs about saving sex for marriage which certainly is easier if you're not living together.
Matthew: What she said.

Q: Do you think that living together would have made your marriage any easier/better?  Was it a shock to move in together when you got married?
Karen: Honestly, it was a fairly natural transition from engagement to marriage.  We spent most of our days together anyway, so the difference was that Matthew didn't leave when I went to bed.  We had already seen most of each other's quirks, and we had committed to love each other regardless of quirks.
Matthew: Though obviously I can't say this for certain, since we didn't live together, I think that it was actually better that we did not. It made getting married that much more of a significant step in our lives, and the merging of our things and such that we had to do when we moved in together in some ways symbolized our new lives beginning.
Karen: Of course, it's the couple's choice, but as far as we're concerned, not living together probably made things better and not worse.

Q: Was marriage what you expected it to be at the beginning?
Karen: In a lot of ways, yes.  It was a really sweet time of celebration, and we were ecstatic to be a married couple.  One thing that was weird for me was that I went through a brief period of depression on our honeymoon for some reason.  Post-wedding letdown and exhaustion, perhaps?  For the most part, it was just a happy time to adjust to having each other, and we quickly began a continuing tradition of snuggles at bedtime and snuggles first thing in the morning.  It's still a marriage favorite.

Q: How has marriage changed in the last three years?
Karen: It has changed from an exciting new relationship to a welcome, well-worn relationship.  We have also started to figure out how to better communicate and have a routine that makes us both generally happy.  Where excitement has faded, stability and general well-being has come to stay.
Matthew: Well, the newness has worn off, but that's not really a bad thing, just moving into another stage of life. We have learned to talk out any problems or issues we have better. Our relationship has gotten more stable, roots digging deeper over time.

Q: Are things as lovey-dovey as they used to be?  And what about grumpiness and anger?  What about fighting?  Is there more of that?
Matthew: Things are not as lovey-dovey as they used to be. We do tend to get grumpy/angry a little more often, since we've gotten to the stage where our guards are completely down and we're not trying to impress the other person as much, but getting things out in the open allows us to deal with them better. There is some fighting, but not very much, and again it is good to get things out into the open.
Karen: No, we're not as lovey-dovey.  We still are very affectionate and we tell each other we love each other, but we just aren't riding the emotional high anymore.  Yes, grumpiness happens in the Smith household.  I tend to get grumpy when I'm stressed out, and I can be fairly obnoxious.  I think that serious anger and fighting have rarely showed up.  Perhaps our fighting is really more arguing?  Despite these times, I think that we just give each other grace in the end because we're human, and humans become grouchy sometimes.  Apologies and forgiveness are key though.

Q: What advice would you give to people considering marriage?
Karen: Oh so many things... First, love is a choice and an action, not an emotion.  Also, loving your husband should involve putting his needs first, and ideally he'll be doing the same thing.  Finding pleasure in the other person's happiness helps the relationship stay flexible, cooperative, and healthy.
Matthew: Talk about it. And talk about everything you can think of that would pertain to getting/being married. Let the other person know what your expectations are for marriage and listen to theirs. Remember that the other person is not the same as you and may act in ways you would consider irrational or strange, and learn to deal with that (and forgive, when necessary). Make a choice to love the other person, even when they are being irrational/strange/annoying/grumpy/infuriating/etc. Also, talk to people you trust about how they see the relationship, as outsiders can sometimes see things that you cannot.
Karen: Speak gently.  Try not to be mean, and apologize when that plan fails.  Remember why you love your husband even when he's doing something ridiculous (like playing an online game WAY too much of the time!).  Communicate about everything.  Expect your partner to change, and either make the change with him or allow him to be himself.  However, don't expect your husband to change his personality or fundamental self.  Listen, listen, listen!