Bedroom wall before and after... again

You may remember that I changed our bedroom wall to look like this.  I liked this alright, but it wasn't my favorite long-term wall decor.

However, recently I discovered Pinterest online, and I found the cutest idea for wall art.  Did I ever mention that I love adorable birdies?  I do.

I didn't have canvas, so I used an old cardboard posterboard that Matthew used for his senior project.  I chose to buy one piece of scrapbook paper so that I would have a special design for the birds, but otherwise this was a great project for scraps!

Maybe I'm done with this wall now...

Living More with Less

I just finished the book Living More with Less by Doris Janzen Longacre.  Truly, it was really a book compiled by Longacre because most of the text was actually written by people across the U.S. and even across the world.    I believe that the purpose of the book was to motivate reconsideration of the way we live and do things and then provide practical options for change.  Although this book was written 30 years ago, I found it entirely thought-provoking and relevant.  One attraction to me was the it was written by Christians (Mennonites!); I so rarely find another Christian with an interest in simple living, so it's nice to have two of my passions shared by a group of people.

Although the book was filled with wonderful suggestions, I want to talk a little bit about how a different part of the book affected me.  There were themes tied in throughout the book that included "Do Justice" and "Learn from the World Community."  These two themes really stirred me.

The following is one of the verses in the Bible that always inspires me:

And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Quoting Longacre, "Do justice must become the first standard for living by which Christians make choices.  Our knowledge of others' needs and our guilt must resolve itself into a lasting attentiveness.  This means being mindful, conscious, aware, so that never again can one make a decision about buying and using without thinking of the poor."  While I think that ultimately it is love that is the first standard for living by which Christians should make choices, doing justice certainly is part of love.  

Certainly part of doing justice is the way that we spend our money.  Throughout the book, there were beautiful examples of churches choosing to do without large buildings, remodels, new equipment, etc and instead giving money to others.  I think this also connects with the idea that we should be buying less so that we can spend money on ethically made products, save some money instead of going into debt, and give some money away.

Beyond personal choices, Longacre also addresses the fact that our political and economic system are an important part of creating justice.  In fact, our system is currently broken in the sense that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer despite working hard.  We are turning into a society of the "haves" and "have nots", and our lawmakers are being paid by corporations to make decisions that are bad for people and good for corporate profit.  Even people in our rich nation are struggling to get health care, food for their children, and other basic needs.  Of course, there are many others struggling even more than this around the world.

As we vote, and as we have civil conversations with others where we express our opinions, we should be considering who is benefiting from the policies being considered.  Who will benefit from tax cuts?  Who will get hurt?  Who will benefit from deregulation?  Who will get hurt?  I understand that some people believe in allowing the free market to do what it does without government intervention, but is our market really free?  Will the free market really benefit people in need and/or is the free market more important than fighting against unfair labor practices?

I love the way that Longacre introduces the idea of learning from the world community:

"If you as a North American travel to an economically poor country such as Haiti or Bangladesh, your first reaction is likely to be shock... After a time, shock gives way to ideas for development projects typically conducted by church agencies...These reactions are certainly warranted.  God help us when poverty no longer shakes us into action.  But how rarely we realize that person from other countries often go through a similar thought process when living with us!... For we, of course, have problems too.  No one wants to hear the whole sordid list again, but it begins with materialism, violence in streets and homes, family breakdown, drug and alcohol abuse, automobile accidencts, poor diet and degenerative diseases, waste of material resources, pollution, and nuclear proliferation.  What if we became as concerned with our overdevelopment or maldevelopment as we are with the underdevelopment of poor nations?"

Throughout the book there are stories involving Mennonites in others nations, and I appreciated hearing new points-of-view.  I think that it is a great idea to learn from those who have the wisdom and knowledge to live well and find joy with few possessions.  Our society is not perfect, and I believe that the imperfections have slipped into the church in ways that are ignored.

So indeed, as I live, I wish to do justice by be thoughtful about my actions and consumer purchases and by giving to those in need.  I also wish to learn to view our country in an even more humble manner.  Just because we have a high GDP does not make us wealthy in worthwhile manners, nor does it mean we have God's favor.

Another bitty bird!

This one is crocheted.   I used the instructions from here but made modifications to the wings and eyes.

Little birds are just adorable...

Oat Bread

More bread!  This is Colonial Oat Bread from Best of Country Breads.  Chewy, lightly sweet, and just yummy in general.

I kind of like making free form loaves.  It's fun to have different shapes.  These ones were supposed to have cuts in the top that made designs after baking, but I'm not good at doing that yet.  It's on my list of skills to improve on!

The day I became hooker...

On Saturday, I went to Goodwill, and I found a bag of crochet hooks of various sizes.  Monday night, I got around to sitting down and figuring out how to crochet.  After a period of puzzlement while establishing where exactly the hook  is supposed to go, I then quickly pieced together a few of the basic stitches.  Next I needed a project.

On the left, you can see a hat that I knit a long time ago.  I was never very happy with the crinkly top and the brim that rolled, so  I decided to unravel it and make a crocheted hat.

I crocheted on and off all day today, and the picture on the bottom left shows the results of my efforts.  I used the pattern here, and I think it turned out well!

I learned to knit on my 16th birthday, although I didn't dare branch aways from the garter stitch until this past year.  As I crocheted today, though, I wondered why I never bothered learning how to before.  It's surprisingly simple, and I really adore the way it looks.

So, there you have it.  I'm sold.  I'm now officially a knitter and a hooker.

Challah-lujah!

I've been wanting to improve my bread-making skills, so I checked out a couple of bread cookbooks from the library when I went yesterday.

The top picture is of challah bread which is gorgeous and tasty!  I'm going to use this in place of our traditional honey wheat bread this week.

The bottom picture is a giant focaccia bread to go with our lasagna this week.  It provided the necessary motivation for me to pull a few leaves off of my basil plants, too.  Hopefully that will help it to get bushy!

I'm so happy that my first experiments turned out well!  Now I'm excited to have more future experiments...

Who am I?

I've been struggling recently because I have been feeling like not very many people really know and understand me.  I doubt that I am even close to the only person who feels this way, but I wanted to get out my feelings because this really challenges me.

I think that part of my anxiety is self-inflicted.  I have changed a lot in the past two to three years, and the person I am now is a person that I would have looked down upon a few years ago.  Consequently, I am convinced that others are looking down on me.  However, I feel fairly confident that some do because old me knew people that agreed with old me.

I think that I also make my own life difficult by being so introverted.  I struggle to talk about myself with most people.  I used to justify my silence by believing that I was being selfless by listening instead of talking.  Now I realize that it's not out of selflessness but rather social awkwardness.  I've honestly gotten better at this, but I realize that I'm difficult to get to know.  For those of you who care about this, sorry.

That all being said, I feel fairly confident about displaying myself in writing perhaps because I know that I'm not forcing anybody to read what I am saying.  I'd like to talk about who I think I am and why I feel like people "misunderstand" me.

I think most people who know me even a little bit well understand that my primary motivator in life is my love for and faith in God.  While my faith evolves, it never changes in importance in my life.  I try to let all of my actions be motivated out of that faith, and as such I do my best to love people and take care of that which is entrusted to me.

One way that I express my faith that is truly important to me is through living in a simple manner that is healthy for our planet and, as I keep finding, healthy for me.  Through this lifestyle I have become less attached to material possessions, and I spend more time on fulfilling activities like spending time with friends and my husband.  I find relief within my own conscience by being as careful a consumer as I can.  This means that I try to buy fewer things, more used items, and food/things made ethically by people.  These changes, along with many others, create a lifestyle that is very significant to me.

Past Karen dislikes Present Karen.  Let's use some labels here.  In the past, I was a conservative Christian.  Currently, since we're using labels, I'd have to label myself a liberal Christian.  At the very least, I believe a lot of the things that I considered to be liberal when I was conservative.  The problem is, I judged liberal Christians when I was more conservative.  This makes me very self-conscious now because I feel like I'm being judged.  I know that there are people out there who think that I am maligning God's truth because I used to be one of those people!

Additionally, Present Karen makes Past Karen feel guilty because Present Karen is downright inconvenient.  Past Karen likes new clothes and shoes, being able to buy anything (within reason) that she can afford, not caring about using and throwing away plastic and other disposable items, driving her personal car, etc.  As a result, I feel like I must make other people feel guilty which makes me feel bad.  I never do what I do to cause guilt but rather out of simple conviction in my own spirit.  It's part of me.

Now I feel like my friends and family who are "conservative Christians" judge me for who I am.  I'm sure not all of them do, but I once was one of them, so I know that some do.

My friends and family who are "liberal Christians" often do not share my passion for living simply, so I feel like I am an inconvenient, guilt-causer for them.

I have a few friends who are not Christian but share my interest in living simply.  I don't know if I just got lucky, but these friends seem to be fairly comfortable with my faith.  I could be wrong, but I think that they have realized that I love them as they are, and they are probably fairly relieved that I am not constantly "trying to save" them.  (Please don't judge me for that sentence anybody!  Past Karen is cringing.)  However, faith is still a touchy subject in our culture in general, so I feel lead to be sensitive in conversation so as not to be forceful with my faith.  In this manner, I feel that part of me remains somewhat veiled.

So as not to leave anybody out, I also have friends who are neither Christian nor interested in living simply.  These people also tend to get a veiled Karen.  Some more than others.

To be fair, there are certainly some people in each group try to be understanding, and some try to talk to me about my interests and even get involved in them at times.  However, for the most part, I feel like it is hard to be myself since my particular set of beliefs doesn't seem very standard.  Maybe everybody feels that way, though.

In the end, maybe this problem is not with me and my beliefs but with the fact that people find it very challenging to disagree with others gracefully.  Perhaps most of us feel like we must stay hidden.

So, to those of you who do not share my faith:  If you ever get a glimpse of God's love through me, then I celebrate that fact!  If you do not, then I want you to know that I love you anyway, and I do not make it my goal to change you.

To those of you who do not share my passion for living simply:  If you ever receive inspiration through my passion, I celebrate that fact!  If you do not, then I want you to know that I love you anyway, and I do not make it my goal to change you.

Can you love me too?  I mean the real me.  Not the person you want me to be.  Not the person you believe I am so that I fit into your mold of people that you feel like you're allowed to like.  Me?

Knitted quilt

After about two years of working on and off on this blanket, here it is on our cozy loveseat!  I still need to sew in few dangling strands of yarn, but I feel like I've made it!

Bitty Birdy

I had bitty balls of yarn leftover from a blanket that I made (pictures to come when I get the lighting right so that the colors don't look crazy).  A bitty knit bird seemed like a pleasant use for some of the yarn.  Add some t-shirt scraps as stuffing and embroidery thread for the face, and we're on our way!  I started with the instructions here, but I wanted a less clunky bird (and I didn't have the right size of needles...), so I played with things a fair amount as I went.  To do this project, I learned how to increase using Knit Front and Back.  I think that learning new things is like crack to me.  Especially when creating things is involved.

Just chillin'.

Finally a bird to accompany the bird house I found on the side of the rode and brought home to paint!

Technology... in particular, electronics

In opening my discussion of electronics, I can't do anything better than ask you to watch The Story of Electronics which is a terrific video that Annie Leonard created.  She has done the research and made a short video that compiles her concerns and suggested improvements to our current system.  In case you do not care to watch the video, I will list a few of the concerns that Annie gives:

• Electronics are often made with toxic chemicals that harm primarily the factory workers building the product and then the workers tearing apart the product to "recycle" it.
• The manufacturers are not bearing the responsibility of the pollution and waste caused by production and disposal.  Because of this, electronics are designed to become obsolete quickly because this is what creates maximum profit.
• The products are cheap because the costs come to foreign workers getting ill, the rivers where the pollution shows up, the air getting polluted, etc.
• It is more expensive to repair products than to buy new ones.

She has ideas about how to prevent a lot of these problems.  The biggest would be to hold companies accountable for the problems their product causes including workers' health, pollution, and product waste.  If this was the case, she believes that companies would work to produce products with greater longevity because this would be cheaper than cleaning up all of the current problems.  I think that this seems reasonable.

I'm not against technology or electronics, but, like Annie, I do not like the current system that we have.  I agree that companies should be held accountable, but I also would love to see individuals' attitudes change as well.  The companies only make money by creating newer versions of products because people buy them!  It seems to me like any time a new big product is released, people are ready to buy it even if they already own a comparable functioning device.  Why is this?

I think that people like new things, especially if it's the latest and greatest.  The status that comes with these products certainly might be tempting as well.  However, this attitude is a great way to never feel satisfied and to spend more money than one should.

The electronics in our lives are a 6-year old laptop, a 3-year old refurbished desktop with dual-screen monitors, a 5-year old digital camera, our cellphones that we will only replace if they manage to break, and Matthew's 3-year old MP3 player, and the printer that we bought used.  There are some accompanying devices as well, of course.  We have chargers, cords, cables, speakers, etc.  What we try to do is remain satisfied with what we have.  When we do buy electronics (or anything, really), we make it a top priority to buy used or refurbished.  If we buy something new, we look into buying a long-lasting product from a responsible company.  I also promise that we do not feel like we are in want!

Now that I have talked about the costs of technology at large-scale, I also want to recommend that people consider the time they spend using these devices.  I've heard from many sources that when technology began to have a role in our society, people predicted that it would free our time so that we could work less and spend more time bonding with family and friends, pursuing our interests, reflecting, and being involved in our communities.  While certainly technology has made some things faster and better, we actually are working more, and when we're not working, I would argue that we spend a lot of time doing activities that are not terribly fulfilling.  In my opinion (and it is just that, not fact), video games, television, Facebook, MP3 players, online games, and even blogging have their times and places, but we just don't know when to shut these things off and just live the life we have in the real world with real people! 

Also, maybe I'm old and out-of-touch, but it truly bothers me when I am having a conversation with someone and he/she tries to stay in the conversation with me while simultaneously carry on a texting conversation with someone else.  I just want to shout, "Helloooo!  I'm right here trying to have a conversation with yooouuu!"  I just feel like technology ends up fragmenting our lives and disconnecting us sometimes even more than it helps connect us.

Throughout college, I became addicted to constantly checking email, Facebook, and other sites.  Sometimes I found myself clicking through my set of tabs in Firefox (and later Chrome) just watching them and seeing if something new happened.  Gah!  How unfulfilling, and what a waste of time!!  This year I finally figured out a way to stop this vicious cycle that was eating my time and sanity.  I learned that hibernating my laptop throughout the day makes it so that I will only have the laptop going when I'm truly using it.  I am so happy with this new system because I feel free from this silly thing.

The laptop was my addiction, but I think that similar ideas can help you too if you find that you are leashed to your technology!  Perhaps you can shut off your phone during times spent with family and friends so that you can give them your full attention?  Maybe only use your MP3 player or I-pod when you are running alone and not with your friends?  Maybe limit your time playing online games to a certain amount per day?  Maybe have a time of day where you shut off all of the devices and enjoy other activities in life?

I want to end by saying that I think that technology can be used to enrich lives, but I know that it's tempting for me to use it in a way that ends up absorbing my life.  By limiting my purchases and time spent with my electronics, I feel like I am honestly improving my quality of life rather than just keeping myself from indulging.  

Peace

Let there be peace on earth,
And let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.

With God as our father

Brothers all are we. 
Let me walk with my brother

In perfect harmony.
~Vince Gill~

As I considered writing this post, this song began to run through my head, and I realized that it encapsulated a lot of my beliefs about peace.  Peace with God, peace within ourselves, and peace with each other and our planet are three lofty goals worth seeking daily.  I find it hard to be at peace with anybody or anything when I am not at peace inside, so I will spend this post considering the idea of internal peace.

"We can work on inner peace and world peace at the same time. On one hand, people have found inner peace by losing themselves in a cause larger than themselves, like the cause of world peace, because finding inner peace means coming from the self-centered life into the life centered in the good of the whole. On the other hand, one of the ways of working for world peace is to work for more inner peace, because world peace will never be stable until enough of us find inner peace to stabilize it." ~ Peace Pilgrim

While people have different approaches based on personality differences, I'll go ahead and share my experiences with a search for peace.

Selfishness is one of the biggest obstacles to my inner peace.  I know that when I am focused on my own needs and especially wants, I become a person I would rather not be.  I make decisions that I regret, and I become cross and irritable.  When I remove my focus from myself, I feel better and live better.

I also have been learning about how consumerism affects internal peace.  While we have an abundance, it is in fact not things that gives us peace.  I have found that by using less and giving things away, I increase my ability to be at peace because I feel satisfied with what I have.  I don't think that there can be inner peace when so much time is spent thinking about money and material possessions.  I also feel at peace by being more in rhythm with our planet.

An important part of my peace is listening to the quiet inner voice that questions what I do.  When I continue harmful actions because they are convenient to me even when I know that I should work to change, I don't feel at peace.

I also find peace when I accept others the way they are.  I tend to get frustrated when people do things in a way that bothers me even when it is a relatively small thing like throwing litter on the ground or a big thing like saying hateful things.  This past year I have been working to control my anxiety by looking for the good in people and realizing that we are all in a state of flux.  I'm not always the best at this, but as I get better I do feel more peace.

What brings peace is gratefulness.  When I am thankful for my family, friends, food, life, and all of the other daily blessings, my soul fills with satisfaction.

What brings peace is attention and appreciation of daily routine.  Instead of hurrying through life, I'm trying to appreciate the details.

What brings peace is avoiding worry and trusting that the future will provide for future needs.

What brings me peace is also taking time away from the frantic pace of life that it is easy to get swept away in.  I find that I need to shut off my computer and return to the here and now.  While technology is supposed to be a time-saver, it also has the tendency to absorb people.

When I am at peace internally, I am able to focus on God and others.  I feel more productive, energetic, and happy.

Where there is faith, there is love.
Where there is love, there is peace.

Where there is peace, there is God.

And where there is God, there is no need.
~Leo Tolstoy~

Window garden update

Oregano explosion!  I tasted a leaf off of one of these guys, and now I know what gives spaghetti sauce so much of its flavor!  Yum!

Oh happy basil plants.  I should pinch off some of your leaves so that you get nice and full.

Look!  Florg is alive!!!  What a cute baby avocado plant!

Ramblings

I've started and not finished a few posts over the last week, but I'm just never satisfied with what I'm saying.  I have felt passionately about a few things, but I have been unable to collect my thoughts in a meaningful way.  I really don't like posting just to post, so I have been holding off until I can say something that I think is significant.

It has been a bit over a week since I passed my Master's exam, and it has been a challenge to regain my footing.  I spent so much time hemming and hawing over my project and then so much mental and emotional energy preparing for the exam!  Having it be all over is overwhelming.  It's nice, but it's still confusing to me.

One way that I handle myself is by cleaning and organizing.  In the last week I have sold my desk and chair, and I assimilated all that my desk held into Matthew's desk since that will be the one that we keep.  Matthew and I tore pages and pages of college notes out of notebooks, and we recycled them.  I also have my college textbooks listed to be sold.  It feels really good to let this all go, and I'm glad that I can allow someone else to make use of what I have.  Plus, I won't be sad that the books are gone when it comes time to move...

Speaking of moving, we're probably going to do that in about a month.  However, we don't know for sure where yet.  It looks like Matthew has an interview at a company in Eugene, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he'll get that job or that he won't get another interview for another job that he likes better.  Eugene wouldn't be a bad place to live.  It's close to Matthew's family, and it's about two hours from my parents which beats the option of three hours that Portland offers.  That all being said, we love living in Corvallis, so if Matthew gets offered a job here we sure wouldn't mind...

I'm thinking that I won't try to work until the school year starts in September.  At that point, I think that it would be good to find part-time work teaching math at a college or university.  Until then, I hope to explore some interests.  If we move, I'd like to spend time getting to know our new town.  I'll be especially interested in finding a place to provide us with good food.  I'm also considering joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) program to help out a local farmer and to provide us with an adventuresome way to get fresh, local fruits and vegetables.  I also really want to preserve some food over this summer.  We probably won't have a huge freezer, so I'll probably just get some berries, freezer jam, and a little bit of other fresh food in the freezer.  However, I want to learn how to can food this summer.  I think it would be really fun to go to farms and pick all sorts of fruits and vegetables and then can them.  I also think that I'd like to dry some food, too.  I think it would be awesome to have stores of food next winter.

I also have been regularly picturing my dream of my own garden, chickens, kittens, and my purple kitchen...  Those might not happen for another year or two, though.  We'll see. :)

Besides my dreaming, I've also had thoughts about how people treat each other running through my head.  Essentially, I've been considering the idea of motivation.  I think that God is very concerned about motivation, and I feel like humans end up focusing more on outward action than motivation.  We don't know anybody else's motivation besides our own, so this makes sense in a way.  However, when you think about it, it really means that we need to extend copious amounts of grace to people.  For example, I have someone in my life who I consider to be somewhat self-centered, a show-off, and often downright arrogant.  However, how do I know what motivates this person's speech and behavior?  We're all so different, it's impossible to tell.  It bothers me that I struggle to extend this grace because I tend to judge people who don't extend grace.   Oops!  At any rate, it is something I am working on.

My final thought in my post of ramblings is about peace.  I am watching the sunset as I type this, and I feel peace and contentment fill me.  I think peace is important to God as well, and I think that peace is generally ignored.  We assume that outward peace between nations and people can't happen, so we don't fight very hard for it.  I think that we also tend to forget that we are supposed to find it inwardly, so we don't notice as our fast-paced, consumerist culture keeps us moving but unfulfilled.  I thank God for the peaceful moments that I have while spending time with my family and friends, typing a blog post that allows me to collect my thoughts, watching a sunset, or living simply with love.  It is fulfilling and good.

I feel like peace would be a worthwhile topic for a full post sometime in the future.  For those of you who read this, is there something that you'd like to hear about?  I love when people comment, so please don't feel shy about commenting.  Until we talk next... Peace be with you!

Props to Parents

I have to give props to my parents because without them I wouldn't exist.  However, I think they're especially cool because they still are my parents even though I'm twenty-three years old.  As I get older, I realize that I can rely on my mom and dad to care about me and always be interested in what is happening in my life.  In a world of busy people with clashing opinions, it is nice to have the security of people who just love you.  Period.

I don't want this post to be too idealistic because my relationship with my parents is real.  There were times when I was growing up that we got mad at each other and I thought that they were trying to make me miserable. I'm sure there were times where they looked at me and wondered what in the world was wrong with me, too.  I think that a lot of the time perhaps we did not communicate as well as we could have, and I think that we caused each other hard times as a result.

That all being said, it's nice to be able to look back and see my parents as people and not just parents.  I now understand their actions better now that I'm old enough to understand that they experience life's stresses, pains, and joys as I do.

My dad is an interesting person who enjoys discussing what's going on in life and what's happening in the world.  He likes big ideas, and he is very good at carrying out thoughtful discussions.  He is thoughtful, and I recognize that he taught me very well about being considerate of other's needs.  My mom is one of the sweetest, most patient people that I know, and she deserves a special reward for putting up with "teenage-Karen."  I think mom needs to speak up more because she has useful things to say, but she still has managed to teach me by just being her quiet self.

Twenty-three years is a long relationship, and I appreciate all of the good they have done for me, and I forgive them for any imperfections as well. :)  

Thanks for doing your best at parenthood!  I miss you when you're out-of-state, and I love you!