No shave... Never

So. I hate shaving my legs.  I really do.  I always have.  I have not once shaved my legs and enjoyed it.  It's a futile task; they get poky within a day and "gross" within a few days.  Yet, for about half of my life now, I've been doing the exercise in futility at least once a week most weeks.

It all began in sixth grade.  I was eleven, and I was a cute little chubby thing with red cheeks, tousled hair, and Winnie-the-Pooh t-shirts.  Until PE happened.  In the locker room one day, one of my classmates (one of the cool ones) happened to look at me and she made fun of my hairy legs.  Mind you, I was eleven.  I probably barely had any hair on my legs, but that seemed to be beside the point.  At that point, I had no clue what "shaving my legs" was (ahhh... blissful ignorance!), but I remember feeling incredibly embarrassed by my obvious faux pas.

Some girls might have sat their mothers down and said, with all the adorable, angsty rage of an eleven-year-old, "MOM!  I HAVE TO SHAVE MY LEGS!"

I didn't.  At least not at that point.  Although, I do remember that I felt ashamed to wear shorts to school with hairy legs showing, so I wore tights underneath my jean shorts.  Problem solved!  Except not... because apparently that wasn't cool either.  What?!

I think I somehow made it to seventh grade without shaving my legs.  It might have been the anticipation of the dreaded PE locker room that year that finally gave me the gumption to tell my mom that I needed to shave my legs.

And shave I did.  Dry.

And now for the open letter to Mom:

Dear Mom,

You're a wonderful mother.  You put up with a lot, and you have a lot of patience.  You fed me, carted me around, and did all sorts of other things that made me not turn into a complete failure.  I appreciate that.  Well done.

One question:  Why in the world did you not tell me that I was supposed to shave my legs when they were wet?

Love, Karen 

I eventually learned from a friend that I was supposed to shave wet legs.  I ever learned about the mysterious world of shaving cream.  Oooooo... shaving cream.  While this decreased my razor burn, my sensitive skin has always been prone to it regardless of how I have shaved.  Plus, I took more chunks out of my ankles and knees in those early days than I care to remember.

Have I mentioned that I hate shaving my legs?

Not to mention the fact that it's really, really difficult to get rid of every single hair.  Having been traumatized in sixth grade, I was ever-conscious of the stray hairs that I missed once I noticed them.  I distinctly remember noticing a hairy patch that I missed on my knee during my ride to school in 8th grade, and I sincerely, sorely wished that I had just not worn shorts that day.  After all, I lived on the Oregon Coast.  There's never any particular need to wear shorts.

As I became slightly more comfortable in my own skin during high school, I allowed myself to shave only once a week even though I was wearing shorts daily for cross-county and track workouts.  Thankfully my hair was pretty blond, and I just always hoped that nobody would accidentally come into contact with my legs.  I didn't want to sandpaper off their skin.

On and on, I shaved.  Through the heat, the rain, the snow, and the wind.

Until this past winter.  I stopped shaving at the end of December, and I didn't (mournfully) pick the razor up again until May or June.  It was awesome.  I was free!!!!

This summer has been pretty cool in western Oregon until the last few weeks, so for awhile I was shaving every three weeks or so, just when it was shorts weather, and only my calves.

Yet, my five months of freedom made me rebellious and bold!  After shaving a few times this summer, I asked myself, "I don't like shaving my legs.  Why do I do it?"

It wasn't a rhetorical question.  I answered, "Because everybody shaves their legs."

My conversation with myself was off!
Me: Why should I shave just because everybody else does?
Me: Because you're shy and weak, and you don't want people to tease you.  Plus, you're already kinda weird.
Me:  (whining) But I hate shaving my legs!  This way they just get all soft and furry like God made 'em!
Me: Tough.  People will look at you and judge.
Me: Well too bad for them!?!????

I haven't shaved since.  I'm still not quite to the point where I'm able to look at my legs and not be grossed out, yet the fact that I feel grossed out makes me angry enough to keep going.  I have even walked around outside with shorts or a skirt on.

I'm upset because I feel like I have to shave my legs or be looked down on.  It's not like I think it's wrong to shave legs, but I certainly feel like it shouldn't feel mandatory!  I don't even have a daughter yet, and I already feel anxiety about her reaching the age where she too feels inadequate and unattractive as she is made.  And I know that I'll tell her that she's beautiful just how she is, but will I not be more convincing if she doesn't see me hiding my legs in the heat just because I haven't made time to shave in awhile?

So, there you have it.  I hate shaving.  I want to be a person who feels confident without shaving.  So I think I'm going to stop shaving now.

No shave!... Never!


P.S.

1. I know that my daughter (if I have one) may want to shave someday, and I don't intend to stop her.  I'll just leave it up to her.  However, I'm hoping that I can be a strong woman, and I hope that she maybe can draw from my strength.  Also, maybe I can find some families with similar values... and maybe the women won't shave their legs... and maybe my child can have a group of friends and they can run around with hairy legs comfortable and free throughout their teen years...  I can dream.
2.  Another perk of not shaving?  My skin stays shiny and healthy.   Ahhhh.  Plus, my years and years of razor burn tendencies (despite water and shaving cream and only shaving once a week) are now no longer a painful, uncomfortable bother.
3. Here's the beautiful, carefree hairiness.  You may judge, but I'll just assume that you're secretly jealous of the fact that I have not shaved for weeks.  Feel free to join me!