It has been awhile since I've just kind of rambled on about the things that rattle around in my head regarding the life I'm living. I think the time has come to put pen to paper (fingers to keys?) and get some of it out of my head.
One idea that has stuck with me for awhile is the dream of opening a food co-op in downtown Hillsboro. The nearest food co-op is in Portland, and even the nearest "natural foods store" is 3.5 miles away in the Orenco area. If you haven't noticed, I'm very passionate about food, and I think it would be very exciting to use this passion to help start a co-op. I don't really know how to start such a thing, but I'm hoping and dreaming that I can find others who can help. Today in church the theme was "faith", and he challenged us to do something that we'd only dreamed about, so I emailed a co-op in Portland asking if they knew of any interest in starting a co-op in my area. It doesn't hurt to ask! I just find it exciting to think about, and it combines so many of the passions that I have felt stirred in me the last few years including food, healthy people, our planet, and close-knit communities.
Also, teaching. I go through great emotional oscillations regarding my job teaching math. I imagine that my experiences teaching resemble many others'. I have students who do great, students who do fine, and students who don't do fine at all. I occasionally have a really good teaching moment. Last term I congratulated the student who earned the highest grade in the class because I knew that she had worked really hard and earned it. She emailed back letting me know that she thought that I was a great teacher and that helped her earn the A in math that she was very proud of. It's more or less the kind of moment teachers all long for. My Type-A personality creates many dark teaching moments as well, though. I always am left wondering "what I'm doing wrong" for those that fail. In reality, it's probably nothing. There are a multitude of factors that go into a student failing, and I know that I'm a sufficient enough instructor that it is probably not me causing the failure. However, it still kind of hurts to see frustration and sadness as students fail, and it's very hard for me to not to emotionally shoulder some of the responsibility. This wears at me when I think about it too much.
Part of what I have realized is that I am very frustrated that College Algebra is required for all Bachelor's degrees. It truly is a Pre-Calculus course, or, at the very least, a course for someone who needs to have a fairly deep understanding of functions. It is challenging and abstract, and I think many find it boring and useless. While I personally have a deep appreciation for how math helps people think (problem solving, logic, etc), I just think we can do a lot better than College Algebra for helping college students to gain that skills we want them to gain. I'm personally leaning toward some sort of reform where students instead take a math class (or classes) that aims instead solely at problem solving (perhaps using primarily the skills from pre-college math classes) and logic. There are many math applications that would be useful to many students, and it would be really good for a lot more citizens to understand logic better.
Teaching also reminds me how frustrating some systems are in our country. To provide for a family without assistance (especially if you want one spouse/partner to be a caretaker of any children), I think you essentially need to have a job that pays more than minimum wage. The best way that I personally know how to do that is to get some sort of a degree, and this is what we recommend to high school students as well. However, college is expensive, so students who need it get usually get some aid. The aid is often only covers tuition/fees/direct college expenses, so students have to work to continue to do things like pay rent and eat. Scholarships also often require you to take a certain number of credit hours to receive funding, so students then work full-time and take more credits than they can actually handle with the hope that they don't lose their funding. Yes, students are responsible for themselves when they are in college, but some students really seem to have the odds stacked against them. Perhaps this is part of the "weeding out" process of college, but it makes me upset because these people deserve to have a chance to provide for their families. I think that the change actually needs to happen outside of the college system (that is, I think that more jobs should provide enough money for a family); however, what I see at this level fuels my frustrations.
Anyway. That's teaching. I guess I view it more as part of who I am and less as simply a job I'm paid to do. Perhaps that's why it's such a challenge!
