Paul, let's have another chat

If the Paul who wrote most of the letters in the New Testament wasn't, you know, a man from 2000 years ago, I think I'd like to invite him over to tea and have a chat.  Most recently, I have been considering, yet again, what Paul wrote about marriage.

In particular, I have been remembering the following passages from 1 Corinthians 7.  I grew up with an NIV Bible, so I'll include that translation:

Verses 8-9: Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Verse 28: But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 

Verses 32-35: I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs — how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. 

Verse 38: So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. 

Verse 40: In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is [single] —and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.  

You can tell that I left a lot of the verses out, but I included that ones that haunted me for awhile in high school.  At that point, I took the Bible more literally and more at face value.  I really wanted to get married someday, but these verses made it sound like if I chose to get married, then I was settling for less than the best, and I wouldn't be able to be as devoted to God.  Paul makes it sound like the only reason to get married is if you are losing control over your sexuality.  Thanks, Paul.

Now, to be fair, I think that Paul believed that Jesus was coming back and restoring order on Earth soon.  He was also writing to the Corinthians, and it seems like the city of Corinth had a little craziness occurring.  It is quite possible that Paul didn't intend to tell every Christian throughout the ages that you do okay if you marry but better if you don't.  I'd like to think that's the case.

Another interesting point about this passage is that Paul actually mentions that part of it is "in his judgment", although, he adds weight to his words by saying, "I think that I too have the Spirit of God."  Gosh, how do you argue with that?  The funny thing is, people with the Spirit of God don't always see eye-to-eye.

OK, Paul. If you are actually implying that all women today would be happier if we stay single rather than marry, then we don't see eye-to-eye.  Hear me out.

First of all, in my opinion, marriage today is largely not about sex.  Due to our terribly sexual culture, I think that sex seems like a huge part of marriage to the single Christian teens and 20s who see sex everywhere around them except in their own lives.  However, there is just so much more to marriage.  (Also, because this myth needs to be dispelled as often as possible, it is pretty unlikely that sex will be anything like that displayed in the media.  Seriously.)

I could talk awhile about all that marriage can mean.  However, I actually just want to focus on one major point that became clear to me this week.  I read the book EcoMind by Frances Moore Lappé this past week, and she mentioned one social aspect about humans that really strikes me as true.  She talked about how humans find it hard to separate from the herd and be different.  There are social consequences for being different including, but not limited to, being labeled as "weird", shunning, being looked down on, and attempts to change you to become more "normal" again.  This is why it is helpful to have some friends that agree with your desire to break away from the mold.

My relationship with Matthew helps me to break away from the mold in ways that I truly doubt that I would have if we hadn't gotten married.  In this way, I think that having my husband has helped me grow exponentially in my faith.  Since getting married, my faith has become less about nitpicking and believe that exact right thing about morality.  I no longer believe that the key to my faith is to "be in the Bible and prayer each day".  It's not that I don't believe that those two things are important, and I do continue to do both of those things daily.  However, I was stuck in a rut because I was missing all of the other things that my faith was supposed to lead to.

I'm not saying that we don't still have room for vast improvement, but our faith together as a married couple has lead us to an understanding that our faith is less about being individualistic and focusing on ourselves and more about pouring God's love on everyone around us.  It has helped us to collaborate and cooperate to change our lifestyle to be more closely aligned with our vision for how our world should be: fair, equitable, beautiful, sustainable, and filled with the goodness of God.

I think that my marriage has made me open to change and filled with the belief that change is possible and I can be part of it.  Matthew and I spend hours each week discussing our community, our country, and our world.  We try to spur each other into doing our part in each of these areas, and we learn more and more about things we can do.

So, Paul, I hope that you can see that Matthew and I use each other to be stronger in our commitment to God.  Our goal in life isn't to please each other; instead our home is the first place for us to practice loving people and putting others' needs above our own.  I do not believe that our interests are generally divided and that we are less devoted to God due to our devotion to each other.  Rather, I honestly believe God views us as a team empowered by each member, and I think He uses us as such.

FASHION!

Did I mention that I miss writing in my blog?  I really do.  I don't know what's wrong with me... Actually, I do.  Fact:  I find it challenging to just sit unless I'm doing something at the computer for my students.  I like to DO!  However, today I'm kind of tired, and sitting on the couch writing a blog post sounds just right...

But I digress.

FASHION!

Those who know me well may wonder why I am writing a post about fashion.  I think it is fate.  (It's certainly not because I can tell you what the current fashions are...)  Two people brought clothing to my attention through two articles/blog posts on Facebook this week.  The first is an article written by a journalist who does some research about the "afterlife" of much the clothing we buy in the U.S.  The second is a blog post written by a Christian woman who is giving her two cents about the Great Christian Modesty Debacle.  I am not going to summarize or paraphrase what these people say since they do such a good job of speaking for themselves, so I would recommend reading the links before you continue.

Done?  OK.  Let's go.

I honestly don't have much to say about the article about the afterlife of clothing except that I continue to hope and pray that we come to our senses when it comes to "stuff".  It truly baffles me that we discard so much clothing in the U.S. that after thrift stores get stuffed to the gills, the natural solution is to turn perfectly good (sometimes brand new) clothing into rags or to ship it off to Africa.  The whole thing reeks of waste.

The post regarding the Great Christian Modesty Debacle earns more of a response.  Sheila and I agree that rules about modesty may very well go beyond what God requires (for example, a rule where women are only allowed to wear skirts/dresses down to the ankle).  We also agree that the clothing that we wear does not have to be societally unfashionable.  However, Sheila makes the argument that, in fact, Christian women have the duty to God and their husbands to be societally fashionable.   It is with this thesis that I am taken aback.

The following ideas run through my own head as I consider Sheila's post:

My husband loves me, is proud of me, and is attracted to me regardless of the clothes that I wear.  He loves me because we are called to love.  He is proud of me based on my actions and the content of my character.  He is attracted to me because he loves me and he is proud of me and I'm ME!

I do not need to earn the respect of society through what I wear.  I will earn respect through who I am and what I do.

There is nothing wrong with something "looking like it came from a thrift shop".  There is nothing wrong with used clothes or hand-me-downs.  There is nothing wrong with wearing "last year's fashions".  There is nothing wrong with the people who cannot afford to put together a closet of clothing that makes them look stylish.  There is nothing wrong with people who can afford to put together such a wardrobe but choose not to.

I do not believe that I can justify spending my money on a fashionable wardrobe in this society.  Women are expected to have a bunch of different outfits and be in fashion at all times (even when fashions change on a dime).  This can be expensive, and I feel that I can be a better steward of our resources.

I do not believe that I can justify the environmental and social ramifications of a fashionable wardrobe.  Creating fashion creates waste through the production of the fabric, the shipping of everything, and the discards readily cast aside as fashion changes.  Additionally, if I buy new clothing, I run the risk of supporting a company that allows horrible work conditions unless I do my research first.

I do believe that I should respect, appreciate, and thank God for the clothing and resources that God has provided.  This keeps me satisfied with what I have instead of in want for more.  This encourages me to wear my clothing until it is worn out.  This prevents me from feeling like I have "nothing to wear".

Overall, I personally found that Sheila has too much concern for appearances and plays into what I believe is one of our culture's issues.  While you may have noticed that I wrestle with some of what Paul wrote, I think that this is something particularly beautiful that he left us:

Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. 
1 Timothy 2:9-10

I pray for beauty from doing something beautiful for God!

As always, you are more than welcome to disagree with me, but I thought that I'd get my perspective out there since, after all, this is my blog. :)

Compassion

As we near the end of the Easter season, I want to give a shout out to Jesus.  One of the attributes of Jesus that  always moves me is His compassion.  I think that we take it for granted that Jesus was a man of great compassion.  According to the Bible, Jesus was moved with compassion repeatedly.  He felt compassion when He was in the presence of the ill (Matthew 14:14). He felt compassion for his followers when they were hungry (Matthew 15:32).  He had compassion for those debilitated by blindness (Matthew 20:34).  In other stories I sense His compassion even if the Bible does not describe Him as feeling compassion at the moment.  When He speaks gently to the adulteress despite all of the men ready to condemn her.  When he restores His relationship with Peter.  When He raises Lazarus to ease the burden for a widow with no other sons.

When Jesus saw people hurting, He generally seemed to feel compassion, and He would fill the needs of the people around Him.  Ultimately, I believe that Jesus' compassion for us is what led him to the cross.  He saw our need for an ultimate sacrifice to pay off a debt, and so He paid the debt.

I am moved by the compassion shown by Jesus.  Thanks be to God that Jesus didn't just see problems and say, "Well, if they had made better decisions, and if people just did things better, that wouldn't have been a problem.  They really should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and make something of themselves!"  Instead, He first met needs, and by doing so He generally seemed to gain favor and followers.

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Recently, I have been considering how I would like our country to run with the idea of showing compassion as Jesus did.  One current hot topic is the mandate for all people to have health insurance.  This has been brought to the Supreme Court because some feel like it is unconstitutional to mandate that all people buy health insurance.  The Daily Show had a segment about this recently, and I think Jon Stewart really hits the nail at one point.  The following segment has been on my mind for a few days now (NOTE: At the end there are some graphic cartoon beheadings.  I think it's a segment with a great points and it's worth watching, but I  totally admit that the beheadings are gross.  Feel free to stop the video at 3:40 if you have delicate sensibilities!):

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

In this video, Donald Verrilli, the US Solicitor General, says that paying for our health system is predominantly done by health insurance, but over 40 million Americans do not have access to health insurance and for these people our health care system is not working.  Justice Antonin Scalia says that the US federal government is not supposed to be the government that has all the powers, but rather, it is supposed to have limited powers.  Jon Stewart then points out that the government is looking for a way to solve a problem the U.S. citizens have.  Namely, to have a system where insurance companies can afford to take all people (including those with pre-existing conditions, for example), we must have all people participating in the system to share the cost.  Stewart then picks up on a key exchange between General Verrilli and Justice Scalia:

General Verrilli: ...in the health care market, you're going into the market without the ability to pay for what you get, getting the health care service anyway as a result of the social norms that allow — that — to which we've obligated ourselves so that people get health care.

Justice Scalia: Well, don't obligate yourself to that. Why — you know?

And herein lies the crux of the matter! Until another solution is put on the table, the choice being made here is really between providing or denying health care to those without insurance, for whatever reason.

Note: For time purposes, the Daily Show obviously must exclude a lot of the exchange. For the transcript of the case, go here.

Forty million Americans don't have access to health insurance, but they still get sick and injured. How can we not have compassion on them and do what we can to heal them? I may not be able to pay all their medical bills myself, but there is a change to our system that we can make to help them to have access to the care that they need. How can I not support that change?

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Another group of people who have been the object of scorn is those in the Occupy Wall Street Movement. Mind you, I'm aware of the weaknesses of the movement. However, it's memes like this that make me sad. While I'm sure some people are lazy, wanting too much, etc., is it alright to minimize the legitimate hurts of people due to the issues in our system and country? Do we really still believe that everybody still has equal opportunity in our country? If we don't, how should we react?

In my mind, I would rather be cheated by a lazy person to guarantee that a few other underdogs get what they need. While there are still hungry and homeless in our country, our work isn't done.

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A song by Derek Webb always stirs my heart.

My Enemies are Men Like Me

I have come to give you life

And to show you how to live it

I have come to make things right

To heal their ears and show you how to forgive them

‘Cause I would rather die

I would rather die

I would rather die than to take your life

‘Cause how can I kill the ones I’m supposed to love

My enemies are men like me

So I will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well

‘Cause my enemies are men like me

Peace by way of war

Is like purity by way of fornication

It’s like telling someone murder is wrong

And then showing them by way of execution

And I would rather die

I would rather die

I would rather die than to take your life

‘Cause how can I kill the ones I’m supposed to love

My enemies are men like me

So I will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well

‘Cause my enemies are men like me

When justice is bought and sold just like weapons of war

Oh, the ones who always pay are the poorest of the poor

So how can I kill the ones I’m supposed to love

My enemies are men like me

So I will protest the sword if it’s not wielded well

‘Cause my enemies are men like me

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I ache as we struggle to extend our hands to those in need.  I ache as we go to war over and over again and innocent people die for a cause that I cannot name.  I ache for the hungry.  I ache for the cold.  I ache for those who are facing medical debt.

I ache because I know better, but I still don't always offer compassion.

I am grateful that I have opportunities to give compassion.

I am grateful that God is more compassionate and loving than we can imagine.  I celebrate His compassion, and I ask to be able to do my part to extend it to our world.

As we observe Good Friday, I thank Jesus for having compassion for all people.
Happy Easter

Because things are complicated...

... I write this post.  I reposted this meme on Facebook yesterday:

I do not know where this image originally came from!  I found it here,
but they do not state where they got it from.

I then explained what I thought when I saw it:

"I suppose that some explanation would be good, too. I'm not positive what was intended by these photos, but what I see is the irony of people thanking God for food that was provided to them (so cheaply!) at the expense of the underpaid, overworked workers. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it though, and perhaps it's just making the point that we should be grateful for our farmworkers (especially since they don't get paid much... and they are part of the reason food is so cheap...)

I stand by the point of irony, though."

I think that some people may have interpreted my words as saying that the family was conscious at the time of thanking God that their food was likely provided by workers that were, in some peoples' opinions, unfairly treated.  That honestly wasn't what was happening in my mind.  I was just noticing that in our system, we end up regularly thanking God for His provision, and to me something is wrong with this because it is hard for me to say that "God's provision" is food provided by workers in horrible conditions.  Minus the provision of the sun, the rain, and the beauty of growing plants, I do not see a lot of God in our food system.  This is where I find unfortunate irony.

Before I continue, I want people to realize that I am not suggesting that families starve before buying unfairly provided food.  Life is not black and white.  We all have our own decisions to make and battles to fight.

Now, here is where I confess that I draw these conclusions on my own.  There is nothing in the Bible saying that the US food system is broken.  There is nothing stating how much farm workers should make.  There is nothing stating how often farm workers should get breaks.  There is nothing stating how much compensation they should get when they get injured doing their jobs.  It is not even a church teaching that leads me to my conclusions.  I have not yet found a church who openly speaks about these things.  It is my own personal convictions that lead me to want others to know more about our system so that they can make their decisions based on knowledge.  I do not claim to be God's voice although I believe that He is the root of my passion for these issues.  If you disagree with me, that is certainly your right.  I'm human.  It's a humble position.  I could be wrong.

If I am honest, though, I do personally believe that Christians are sorely lacking when it comes to responding to issues of social justice.  I think that this happens partially because the issues are very complicated and not very self-apparent.  When you buy green beans at the store, you probably don't even think about where it came from or who picked it.  This isn't because you are a bad person, but it is because it is not how our culture works.  However, I also believe this happens because Christians do not separate themselves from the rest of culture when it comes to consumer habits.  While we say that "whatever we do, whether in word or deed, we do it for the glory of God" (or at least make it our goal), I think that somehow our consumer decisions are often made based off of the black and white ethical guide of, "Can I afford it or not?"  While certainly it is good to avoid debt if possible, I believe that a lot more should go into the decision to purchase almost any sort of item.  Food is certainly one example.  Another example that has gone painfully ignored is the use of sweatshops around the world to create almost all of the consumer goods that we buy: clothing, toys, electronics, etc.  Unlike our food system, I do believe that it is widespread knowledge that sweatshops are a problem, but I do not observe that Christians have, in my opinion, reacted accordingly.

I know I am not perfect.  I do try to buy food from farmers making fair wages.  I do this by trying to buy most things from local farms and looking for the fair trade certification.  I buy what I can from the co-op in Corvallis since I know they research the origins of products as much as they can.  However, there is a chance that some of my food still comes from poorly treated workers.  I also try to avoid sweatshop labor by buying almost everything used.  However, even in the last year I couldn't find a used soap dispenser (which I wanted to buy to use for homemade tooth soap so that we could stop buying toothpaste), so I ended up buying a new one.  I looked, and it had the typical "Made in China" sticker, and I felt the pang of guilt, praying that the workers who made it were treated well and apologizing if they weren't.  I know I am not perfect.


It is with humbleness that I ask you to weigh my words in your heart and decide for yourself whether or not these are problems that you are called to address in your life.  I don't expect anybody will be perfect, but I think that with God we can change the world just by trying to do right!  I personally believe that our government can be used to effect positive change as well, and I encourage you to use your voice in our democracy.  However, I think it would be huge and beautiful if we all work to put our money in positive places.

Because things are complicated... I ask you to consider my words and ideas.
Because things are complicated... I come to you humbly.  I could be wrong.
Because things are complicated... I hope to give and receive grace if and when we disagree.

Thank you for all of you who take the time to read my words on this blog.  I hope that I generally come across as informative and maybe occasionally inspiring rather than judgmental and critical.  I love you all!

Karen's Creed of 2012

As I consider the last year or two, I realize that I have learned a ridiculous amount about our world, and I have been madly working to change my life in light of my discoveries.  As we start a new year, I think I want to just write a post that summarizes where I am at this point in time.  Obligatory Note:  My goal isn't to convince you that my beliefs are right and yours are wrong.

I do believe that my primary purpose on this planet is my spirituality which first involves how I relate to God and second involves how I relate to other humans.  I believe that God loves all people and all creation, and I believe that He sent Jesus to our little planet to show how much He loves us.  I believe Jesus was a great man giving a wonderful example of how to treat people, and I also believe that Jesus was and is God with us.  I believe that God miraculously and mysteriously invites all of us into a fulfilling relationship with Him through Jesus.  (I also believe that I don't understand fully how this works or why it works this way!)  I believe that it is important for me to have this relationship with God so that we can use His infinite love and power to decrease world suck levels because it's just so hard to do it on my own.  I believe that the Kingdom of God is here, and I can bring it to people if I love them with God's love.

I believe that I am called to respect and love those around me when they don't agree with my opinionated self!  I am grateful that I am allowed to speak freely, but I believe that God makes me responsible to pour out love and grace generously on those in my life, not to generate a list of people that I make it my project to "save".

I believe that through God I am motivated to be a positive force in the world.  I believe that my life is not my own but God's and others', and as a result I work to decrease the amount of time I spend striving to bring about my own gain.  However, I believe that there is a lot of joy in decreasing the amount of time I spend focusing on myself.  There are also challenges, fun times, friendships, fulfilling moments, and painful moments along the road.

I regretfully believe that I live in an overly selfish, self-absorbed culture that focuses on current gains over future losses.  As such, I work to put my life in order so that the way I live does not harm future generations.  Sometimes I fail, but I find joy in the changes in my life.

I believe that I live in a fast-paced culture that is too busy to eat nourishing foods, spend time with family and friends, and relax.  As such, I work to put my life in order so that I have time to live fully.

I believe that I am called to fight for our wonderful planet.  I believe Earth was a gift from God that we are supposed to care for so that it can continue to provide for us and delight us.  I believe that we have gotten off-track and out-of-control.  I believe in promoting inner peace and gratitude instead of materialism.  I believe in promoting sustainable agriculture and consumerism practices.  I believe that humans are happier when there is balance.

I believe that I am called to fight for social justice.  I feel strongly about my actions matching my words, so I research products and do my best to buy products that were not made by underpaid, overworked workers in dangerous conditions.

I believe that my life, family, friends, job status, and finances are all gifts from God.  As such, I am humbled because I know that we are blessed.  Instead of searching for material wealth in my life, I hope that I can successfully invest my time and finances back into the world to bring good changes.

I believe that every decision I make affect others both now and in the future.  As such, I try to make wise decisions.

I believe in giving grace as we all stumble about on this confusing and often seemingly cold planet.

I believe in receiving grace from God even as I regularly fail to give it.

As I go into 2012, I pray for a year of positive change!

What's going on out there...

I've been reading and listening to some interesting things this week, so I thought I'd share some of them here.

First up is an article about how large multinational corporations are marketing their junk food products to new people... the poor and malnourished around the world.  It really does bother me that corporations are willing to grow at the expense of the health and well-being of people.  Want to know what you can do to help?  My personal method is to do my best to avoid products from large companies unless I figure out that they're a good company.  Every time I spend money, I view it as a vote in my mostly capitalistic economy.  If you want something else to do, I think that it might also be good to write to corporations to let them know how you feel and why you will not buy their product.

The next article discusses the future of global warming and some geoengineering ideas of how to combat it.  It really scares me to have humans try to play with the atmosphere, clouds, etc to try to affect our climate.  I totally understand why they are considering these ideas, and I respect them for acknowledging that this would be a last ditch attempt to buy more time for humanity to stop destroying our home (you know, Earth), but I think that such a large-scale action that cannot really be tested in advance could also be devastating.  The idea of temperatures rising 11.5 degrees Fahrenheit over the next 90 years is overwhelming, too.  I know I will only be around so long, but I'd really like for my children and grandchildren to be able to live a peaceful life and enjoy our beautiful planet.  (To Christians who believe that Jesus will return and make it all better before any of this happens, I must say this:  You don't know that.  We have no guarantee that we won't destroy much of our population in the years to come.  God loves us, but He certainly is not obligated to miraculously save us from our own selfish actions, right?)  Want to know what you can do?  Take some time to learn about what's going on.  Be willing to change yourself.  Be willing to speak out at the political level.  Again, vote with your money.  Learn to live differently, and pray that your life will positively affect others.

Up next is a video of a young man speaking about how he was raised by a lesbian couple.  When I was adamantly against the legalization of gay marriage, I was asked why it mattered if a homosexual couple had the same legal rights as a heterosexual couple.  The reason that I was taught to give was that adopted babies wouldn't be given as good of a home to live in.  Now I just don't think this argument is fair, and I don't think it should be used.  I do think that children should having loving relationships with both men and women (opinion, not fact), but I think that a homosexual couple could ensure that this happens through extended family, church family, and other groups.  I know that not everybody out there agrees with me, and I think that everybody has the right to their own opinion, and they should vote for what they believe is right.  I just encourage people to think about their decision and be open to listening to God even if it might mean changing.  At this point in my life, I feel strongly that I need to support homosexual couples in their endeavor to be accepted in society.  I tend to believe that in 100 (or fewer) years, people will look back and view the efforts to prevent gay marriage similarly to how most of us view the efforts to prevent interracial marriage (which was also justified using the Bible).

Speaking of interracial marriage... Here we have an example of a church who still struggles to accept that it is truly alright.  If this isn't a humbling example of why we should keep our heart open to change, I don't know what is.  What comes to mind is: Live justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God...  (Micah 6:8 for those of you who are amazed that I'd come up with something so lovely on my own... I didn't!)

I will leave you with a really neat story about a man who, to me, seemed to follow the teachings and show the love of Jesus.  I have no clue whether or not the man was intending to do so, but my heart tells me that God was in the details.

The argument matters

I recently wrote a post about abortion, and since then I have been considering the stereotypical pro-life voice and why it makes me want to fight against it even when I think we agree that part of our well-wishes for the world include the wish that that there weren't abortions.  I have realized that, oddly enough, it is the way that logic is used to support the pro-life cause that is one of the biggest reasons that I felt like I couldn't support it.  I'll give you some examples that you almost undoubtedly have heard before.

"Life begins at conception."
This is certainly a valid viewpoint.  Certainly we can all recognize that a human life begins somewhere.  It is the use of the Bible to back this assumption that bothers me.  I don't think that there is any verse in the Bible to back this up.  I once had a person tell me that "God told us that He knit us together in the womb", and this was part of his/her rationale for the biblical support of a fetus being a human being.  From what I can tell, there are a few errors in that logic.  First, the verse in the Bible that he/she was referring to was Psalm 139:13 where the psalmist (David, in this case) told God, "For your created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb."  So, this is not God speaking, but David.  Of course, if one believes that what David was saying was inspired, inerrant truth from God, then the point still stands.  (However, I request that you read Psalm 139:21-22 and ask if the same logic can be used to say that God wants us to hate our enemies.)  Regardless of whether this was God's inspiration or simply David's poetic devotion to God, this verse says absolutely nothing about when God starts knitting us. It is still an unjustified claim that it is at conception when this process begins.

"Abortion is MURDER!!!"
This is of course assuming the first point, that life begins at conception (or at least by the time you realize you're pregnant.)  Of course, I'm not going to bother with discussing the point that murder is wrong.  However, I think that the question, "What is murder?" has been left unanswered or is incomplete, and this is fundamental here.  I think that the Christians saying this would probably answer that murder is the killing of an (innocent) human being.  (Tell me if I'm wrong!)  I add innocent because the pro-life camp generally tends to be for capital punishment (justified by the Old Testament stonings, or at least that was how I justified it in my past).  From what the Bible relates to us, God told Israel to go into nations and kill all men, women (including the pregnant ones), and children (including infants).  I think that infants are generally considered fairly innocent, so is God now commanding Israel to commit murder?   What about soldiers killing civilians (again including pregnant women and infants) in wars?  By supporting any war, are we supporting murder?  Perhaps at this point we redefine murder to be illegal killing or killing with malice aforethought, but then we've now defined murder to not include most abortions.  I suppose there is an occasional women who has malice aforethought when having an abortion, but as far as I know, most are just scared and concerned about the implications of bringing a baby into the world.

"If you believe in legalized abortion, you are going against God/are not Christian/are for murder/etc!"
I personally have never had anybody explain to me why followers of Jesus are required by the Bible to push for their own morals to become state/federal law.  I mean, I think we are all glad that we don't have some laws about morality so that we can stand together as a nation in the support of people not shooting people and not stealing others' possessions.  However, I have not yet heard, or found for myself, biblical justification for being mandated to regulate people at all (especially those outside of the Christian church).  Feel free to point me to a verse if you think that it provides the mandate to regulate.

It is funny for me to write this post since I have actually proclaimed all of these italicized things with righteous certainty at some point in my life.  I knew I was right and that I had God on my side, and it was a powerful feeling.  It was also really nice to feel like I could have all of the answers.  Doubt and ambiguity lead to some serious wrestling, and it's not always easy.

I write this post mostly to those of you who feel like I do: Concerned about women, concerned about babies, but also put-off by the pro-life arguments including the ones I listed, and many others, that we hear over and over.  I am personally worried that these arguments that we hear are doing damage as they frustrate people and damage the credibility of a legitimate cause.  For what it's worth, I personally feel like abortion, like miscarriage, is not the way God wishes for a pregnancy to be ended.  I believe that regulation for abortions should be on the political table; however, I think it is equally important to consider the underlying causes of these abortions so that we can serve women in a way that prevents unwanted pregnancies and supports and enables women once they become pregnant.  In the end, I can't find a verse in the Bible that tells us not to have abortions, and I certainly can't find a verse that tells us that we have to regulate abortion.  It is through various teachings about love, life, and helping those around us that in my heart I reach my conclusions about abortion.  It's subjective, but most of the decisions we make in life really are.  I'm doing my best.

Last night I stumbled upon this website, and I read a bunch of what they have on their website.  Gosh, I love that they make it clear that their genuine interest is in respecting and valuing women as well as babies.  Their target group is college-aged women since apparently that is a the group in which about half of US abortions occur, and I was filled with joy when their methods to help prevent these abortions was to empower women to be able to have their child and stay in school.  They also graciously acknowledge that most women really don't want to have an abortion, but the women also don't want to drop out of college, and women tend to think one or the other needs to happen.  It just thrills me that this organization works to help people in a way that does not condemn or judge them but rather gives women a new perspective about their worth and their ability to raise a child and not spend the rest of their lives in poverty.

A challenge for Christians

The rest of you are welcomed to join us, but you probably will find that you don't have the same problem. ;)

When I get all gung ho about Jesus in high school, I find myself split between my "Christian friends" and my "non-Christian or people-who-call-themselves-Christian-but-I-don't-consider-real-Christian friends".  I spend most of my time with my "Christian friends", but I make sure to be self-sacrificing and spend time with the other group too.  After all, Jesus loves those sinners.  Perhaps if I spend one more lunch period with them, they too shall be saved.  What kind of Christian would I be if I didn't sacrifice my time to try to save these people?  I just make sure to interject and let them know when they are saying or doing ungodly things so that they can become more aware of how wicked they are.  Plus, I don't want to stand for wickedness myself!  I must say something!  I am offended when they reject my faith.

Now in college, I start out spending time with different types of people, but I quickly wind up having almost a purely Christian social group.  I have my Christian roommate, my boyfriend's Christian co-op, my Campus Crusades Bible study...  Now I can pray for all these poor people in my dorm and classes who are off getting drunk on Thursday instead of worshiping Jesus!

In high school and college, I am offended by the swear words people say.  I am appalled by the girls' clothing.  I am shocked by pre-marital sex.  I am trying to keep myself from being contaminated by all of the horrible sin around me.  I am distressed when I must argue with yet another person about why my views about religion, abortion, homosexuality, politics, etc are Bible-based and thus correct!

I am telling Jesus that He made a mistake when He broke bread with sinners.  I am telling Him that they are too offensive.  I am telling Him that He should be trying to reason with them about truth instead of leading them there with love.  I am a Pharisee asking, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" because even when I am around sinners, my attitude is not that of respect and unconditional love.  Jesus seems comfortable with these people.  He fits in without being aloof.  He is respected and loved.  He meets needs without making demands of people.

Jesus answered me, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick."

Here's the challenge, Christians:  Go through your Facebook friends and figure our what percentage of them are Christians.  What about your in-person friends?  What would you guess the percentage to be?  When you do spend time with your "non-Christian" friends, are you being their friend and meeting their needs, or is your only thought to chalk up another tally mark on your personal chalkboard for Jesus.  What actions show God's love?  What can you do to share the compassion, care and understanding of Jesus?

If you are like me during high school and college, you might be legitimately uncertain of how to act around people who don't know share your faith.  It took me years during college to change my very attitudes so that I could be graceful around people I didn't agree with.  In grad school, a few of my closest friends were lovely people that do not choose to follow Jesus.  They are still my friends even after moving away from them.  With these friends, I feel like I finally did a decent job of loving them and sharing my life and faith while remaining respectful of their right to choose their beliefs.  Here are some of the things I ran through my head to make sure that I remained Christian-but-not-obnoxiously-so:

• To be friends with anybody, I have to be able to give grace when I find I disagree.  I do this for my Christian friends, so I can do this for my non-Christian friends.
• I can acknowledge a person's opinions and beliefs without agreeing with them.  I appreciate it when others do the same for me.
•  I can also share countering beliefs... when appropriate.  I don't always have to make sure that people realize that I disagree with them.
• Loving someone doesn't mean interjecting "Jesus" into as many conversations as possible.
• It is OK to accept love and support from non-Christians.  

OK non-Christian friends... I've left you out for too long.  Thank you for being patient with me as I have stumbled in learning about how to be a Christian and a good friend.  Thank you for not abandoning me if/when I was obnoxious.  Thank you for listening to my beliefs and considering them (and not thinking I'm crazy for loving and following a man who lived, died and came back from the grave over 2000 years ago...).  Please feel free to talk to me any time about questions and thoughts about faith... even if you're telling me that you don't agree with me.  

Humanity: All Suck or Just Some Suck?

Recently, I questioned the viewpoint that man is "totally depraved".  Now that I have let you think about it for awhile, I figured I'd let you know what I think about it.  For those of you who like Bible verses to back things up, I apologize in advance.  I am certain that I can use verses to use to make either point.  (For example, the "all our good works are filthy rags" verse can be used to explain that humans are totally depraved, and the "humans were created in God's image" verse can be used to explain that it doesn't make sense for humans to be totally depraved.)  I'm sure that you can find places on the Internet that support either point of view, so I'm going to just talk about what I have thought about.

I guess we should first figure out what it even means to be totally depraved.  The word 'totally' seems fairly straight-forward, and my handy-dandy Internet dictionary tells me that 'depraved' means 'morally corrupt'.  So, if we are totally depraved, then we must be absolutely morally corrupt.  But what does that mean?  Does that mean that our morals are all completely wrong?  Or that each of us has some wrong morals?  Or that when making moral choices, we are never able to make a completely moral choice?

It really boils down to how we define things, doesn't it?

With that, I don't think that humans are all suck.  I think that as humans (Christians and non-Christians alike) strive for good, it is clear evidence of us being God's loved creation that is not completely bad.  And since all good things come from God, we can see how much God loves us by the good that results from our efforts.  However, I would say that probably everything we do gets tainted by the hurt in the world.  Whether it be pride or selfishness, I think that even our good deeds are rarely done without thoughts of the self instead of purely out of love.  I think this is where I can see humans pale in comparison to the perfect goodness that is God.

The reason that the doctrine of "total depravity" bothers me is that it seems like it turns into a very negative, self- and other-deprecating belief.  It's like the focus is turned from how beautiful and wonderful God is compared to us to having an excuse to say how horrible humans are.  This is subtly different, but it is different because one focuses on the good and the other focuses on the bad.

I think that it is important to take the doctrine of our imperfection in the more positive light for a few reasons.  First, focusing on the positive turns our attention to looking for and toward the good which is just way more helpful than focusing on the negative.  Second, I think that focusing on how awful humans are tends to promote hatred and stifle compassion.

So, there you have it.  Humanity: Just Some Suck.

The theology of unemployment

Matthew has been job hunting since the end or April or the beginning of May.  In case you haven't heard, our economy is kind of sad right now, so my dear husband (who did three internships for a total of 1.25 years of experience and had an undergrad GPA of 3.89 and a graduate GPA of 3.98!) still hasn't gotten any job offers.  In fact, he hasn't even found very many jobs to apply to.

Admittedly, we're currently being picky.  That is, we are only looking in western Oregon.  Portland, Salem, Corvallis, Eugene... You know.  All those little cities in Oregon.

Matthew has had two interviews so far, and one company preferred someone who had more experience (and more enthusiasm about working at least 50 hours a week!)  The other company was a small company whose board decided that they could only afford to hire an electrical engineer (EE) when push came to shove.

Matthew now has an application in at a company where he was an intern a few years ago.  He emailed his boss (the one that liked him enough to tell him to take home a large computer monitor on his last day of work...), and his boss put in good words at HR and the department hiring.  So we wait... hoping they call to schedule an interview...

There has been a lot of waiting these last months.  It's a challenging balance to make plans for the future and to continue living life while knowing that at any time Matthew might get a job, and we might move to a different city within just a few weeks.  I'm not very good at having my future be so nebulous.  It honestly kind of stresses me out.

Actually, a lot about this ridiculous period of life stresses me out a bit.  It also makes me realize that I certainly am not sure how God works because I don't know how to properly make decisions.

Here's an example.  I'm tutoring a few hours a week, and we have managed to save a fair amount of money throughout college and grad school.  Given this fact, I think that (barring unseen disaster) we should be able to go at least another ten months before really needing to start being concerned about the last of our money disappearing.  Since we have this extra time, we have struggled with figuring out how picky Matthew should be in applying and (if given the chance) accepting a position.  The type of position that Matthew would feel incredibly good about working in is a renewable energy or an energy-efficient building type position.  We also ideally would love to stay in Corvallis where we have friends and our families are not terribly far away.  The company that hired an EE instead of a mechanical engineer (ME) was in Corvallis, and the company designs things that use wasted heat to power things instead of using batteries.  This was a job Matthew really wanted (and still wants).  To top it off, in the email the company sent explaining that they hired an EE, they said that they hoped to contact Matthew about the ME position in the "very near future."  Of course, that was over a month ago, and who knows what the "very near future" is.

I believe that God wants to give us good things in our life, and I think that He wants us to believe that He'll provide amazing things.  However, I also believe that we don't necessarily understand what the good things are that God has for us.  Since this job in Corvallis seems perfect for Matthew, and it seems like he still might get it, do we wait for it even if he gets offered another job?  That doesn't seem to make sense given the economy, and would God really :play games" with us like that?  Would we be showing a lack of faith by accepting a job that's not ideal in our eyes?  Or would we be faithfully taking the door that God opened for us even though it did not seem like what was best to us?

Here's another example.  You may have noticed that I haven't mentioned applying to positions.  This is because I've strongly felt like I should let Matthew find a position first because I am pretty sure that I can get part-time work at a community college (or tutoring) wherever he finds work.  We both feel very strongly against having both of us working full-time, and this seems to make sense.  However, recently a couple people brought to my attention a full-time teaching position at a private school in Corvallis.  These people both worked at the school, and although they don't know me terribly well, I think that they would have been able to say that I'd be a good candidate.  In other words, I think that this would be a job that I could have had a reasonable shot at getting.  However, the very idea of doing my first year of high school teaching this coming year made me nauseous.  After a very stressful student teaching experience and a very happy teaching assistant experience, I'm not even sure I ever want to teach high school.  Plus, what would we do if Matthew found a job elsewhere during the school year?  In short, I didn't even apply to the job.

This job would have kept us in Corvallis though and eased the burden of finances.  Did I close a door God opened?  Or did I successfully say no to a tempting way out of financial uncertainty?  Should I be applying to teaching positions (in particular, at the local community college) and not waiting for Matthew to find a job?  Am I letting what I believe to be the best for our future get in the way with the actuality of our future?

So I wrestle with the ideas of having too little faith. (I should wait for God to give us this great gift that He wants to give us!)  Or perhaps having unreasonable faith in God doing something that He doesn't do.  (I shouldn't wait!  Whatever door we end up being able to walk through will be a great gift!)  I also don't know if there is one correct path we are supposed to take or if any reasonable job situation is equally good.  Hence, you can see that I am not very good at making decisions because it sometimes feels like whatever decision I make is either really right or really wrong, and I just am not quite sure which it is.

Aren't these just such basic questions about how God works in our lives?  So, pardon me while I walk through it all confused, a bit stressed out, and incapacitated!

In case you are curious, we are thinking that most any job is a good job, and we'll be grateful for anything that Matthew is offered.  I also still don't think that I am going to do any more than tutor until Matthew finds a position so that I can remain flexible.  So, we "lowered standards" when it comes to jobs Matthew will take, but we remained firm on me staying flexible so that we can easily move when Matthew gets a job.  I'm not positive we're doing the right thing, but we're trying, and this is what we came up with!

Spirituality, Peace, and Our Relationship with the World

Here is a blog post from the Christian Simple Living Blog that I think is well-written, speaks to my soul, and is something I think is worth reading.  Enjoy!

Living More with Less

I just finished the book Living More with Less by Doris Janzen Longacre.  Truly, it was really a book compiled by Longacre because most of the text was actually written by people across the U.S. and even across the world.    I believe that the purpose of the book was to motivate reconsideration of the way we live and do things and then provide practical options for change.  Although this book was written 30 years ago, I found it entirely thought-provoking and relevant.  One attraction to me was the it was written by Christians (Mennonites!); I so rarely find another Christian with an interest in simple living, so it's nice to have two of my passions shared by a group of people.

Although the book was filled with wonderful suggestions, I want to talk a little bit about how a different part of the book affected me.  There were themes tied in throughout the book that included "Do Justice" and "Learn from the World Community."  These two themes really stirred me.

The following is one of the verses in the Bible that always inspires me:

And what does the LORD require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Micah 6:8

Quoting Longacre, "Do justice must become the first standard for living by which Christians make choices.  Our knowledge of others' needs and our guilt must resolve itself into a lasting attentiveness.  This means being mindful, conscious, aware, so that never again can one make a decision about buying and using without thinking of the poor."  While I think that ultimately it is love that is the first standard for living by which Christians should make choices, doing justice certainly is part of love.  

Certainly part of doing justice is the way that we spend our money.  Throughout the book, there were beautiful examples of churches choosing to do without large buildings, remodels, new equipment, etc and instead giving money to others.  I think this also connects with the idea that we should be buying less so that we can spend money on ethically made products, save some money instead of going into debt, and give some money away.

Beyond personal choices, Longacre also addresses the fact that our political and economic system are an important part of creating justice.  In fact, our system is currently broken in the sense that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer despite working hard.  We are turning into a society of the "haves" and "have nots", and our lawmakers are being paid by corporations to make decisions that are bad for people and good for corporate profit.  Even people in our rich nation are struggling to get health care, food for their children, and other basic needs.  Of course, there are many others struggling even more than this around the world.

As we vote, and as we have civil conversations with others where we express our opinions, we should be considering who is benefiting from the policies being considered.  Who will benefit from tax cuts?  Who will get hurt?  Who will benefit from deregulation?  Who will get hurt?  I understand that some people believe in allowing the free market to do what it does without government intervention, but is our market really free?  Will the free market really benefit people in need and/or is the free market more important than fighting against unfair labor practices?

I love the way that Longacre introduces the idea of learning from the world community:

"If you as a North American travel to an economically poor country such as Haiti or Bangladesh, your first reaction is likely to be shock... After a time, shock gives way to ideas for development projects typically conducted by church agencies...These reactions are certainly warranted.  God help us when poverty no longer shakes us into action.  But how rarely we realize that person from other countries often go through a similar thought process when living with us!... For we, of course, have problems too.  No one wants to hear the whole sordid list again, but it begins with materialism, violence in streets and homes, family breakdown, drug and alcohol abuse, automobile accidencts, poor diet and degenerative diseases, waste of material resources, pollution, and nuclear proliferation.  What if we became as concerned with our overdevelopment or maldevelopment as we are with the underdevelopment of poor nations?"

Throughout the book there are stories involving Mennonites in others nations, and I appreciated hearing new points-of-view.  I think that it is a great idea to learn from those who have the wisdom and knowledge to live well and find joy with few possessions.  Our society is not perfect, and I believe that the imperfections have slipped into the church in ways that are ignored.

So indeed, as I live, I wish to do justice by be thoughtful about my actions and consumer purchases and by giving to those in need.  I also wish to learn to view our country in an even more humble manner.  Just because we have a high GDP does not make us wealthy in worthwhile manners, nor does it mean we have God's favor.

Peace

Let there be peace on earth,
And let it begin with me.

Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.

With God as our father

Brothers all are we. 
Let me walk with my brother

In perfect harmony.
~Vince Gill~

As I considered writing this post, this song began to run through my head, and I realized that it encapsulated a lot of my beliefs about peace.  Peace with God, peace within ourselves, and peace with each other and our planet are three lofty goals worth seeking daily.  I find it hard to be at peace with anybody or anything when I am not at peace inside, so I will spend this post considering the idea of internal peace.

"We can work on inner peace and world peace at the same time. On one hand, people have found inner peace by losing themselves in a cause larger than themselves, like the cause of world peace, because finding inner peace means coming from the self-centered life into the life centered in the good of the whole. On the other hand, one of the ways of working for world peace is to work for more inner peace, because world peace will never be stable until enough of us find inner peace to stabilize it." ~ Peace Pilgrim

While people have different approaches based on personality differences, I'll go ahead and share my experiences with a search for peace.

Selfishness is one of the biggest obstacles to my inner peace.  I know that when I am focused on my own needs and especially wants, I become a person I would rather not be.  I make decisions that I regret, and I become cross and irritable.  When I remove my focus from myself, I feel better and live better.

I also have been learning about how consumerism affects internal peace.  While we have an abundance, it is in fact not things that gives us peace.  I have found that by using less and giving things away, I increase my ability to be at peace because I feel satisfied with what I have.  I don't think that there can be inner peace when so much time is spent thinking about money and material possessions.  I also feel at peace by being more in rhythm with our planet.

An important part of my peace is listening to the quiet inner voice that questions what I do.  When I continue harmful actions because they are convenient to me even when I know that I should work to change, I don't feel at peace.

I also find peace when I accept others the way they are.  I tend to get frustrated when people do things in a way that bothers me even when it is a relatively small thing like throwing litter on the ground or a big thing like saying hateful things.  This past year I have been working to control my anxiety by looking for the good in people and realizing that we are all in a state of flux.  I'm not always the best at this, but as I get better I do feel more peace.

What brings peace is gratefulness.  When I am thankful for my family, friends, food, life, and all of the other daily blessings, my soul fills with satisfaction.

What brings peace is attention and appreciation of daily routine.  Instead of hurrying through life, I'm trying to appreciate the details.

What brings peace is avoiding worry and trusting that the future will provide for future needs.

What brings me peace is also taking time away from the frantic pace of life that it is easy to get swept away in.  I find that I need to shut off my computer and return to the here and now.  While technology is supposed to be a time-saver, it also has the tendency to absorb people.

When I am at peace internally, I am able to focus on God and others.  I feel more productive, energetic, and happy.

Where there is faith, there is love.
Where there is love, there is peace.

Where there is peace, there is God.

And where there is God, there is no need.
~Leo Tolstoy~

Love is Kind

Three of us are currently organizing and running children's church at our church, and recently we started a new series about love.  As we got started, we quickly realized that we wanted to focus on emphasizing love through action instead of emotion.  Using 1 Corinthians 13 as a guide, we have so far discussed how to be loving by showing patience and kindness.  Yesterday I was the leader, and as I spent time preparing for the lesson, I realized that I wanted to emphasize that we shouldn't just be kind to those that we like, but rather, we should be kind to everybody.

The parable of the good Samaritan came to mind as I made my plans, and I read over the story a few times to figure out exactly how to explain it to kids.  For those of you who don't know the story, this is my rough interpretation/understanding of why Jesus told it and how the story goes:

An expert in the Jewish law came up to Jesus to challenge him, and he did so by asking the perfectly good question, "How do I get to heaven?"  Jesus, as he often did, answered by asking a question: "What do you think?"  The expert responded well by saying, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself."  Naturally, Jesus was pleased with this answer, and he said, "You nailed it.  Now do that."  However, the expert didn't want to love everybody, so he asked Jesus, "Who IS my neighbor anyway?"  Then Jesus told a story.

A Jewish man was walking along a road when a robber came along and beat him badly and took his possessions including his clothes.  As he lay in a ditch dying, a Jewish person of highest standing when it came to religion (a priest) passed by, but he did nothing to help.  Next, a Jewish person of second highest standing (a Levite) passed by, but he also did nothing to help.  Finally, a Samaritan passed by.  Samaritans and Jews pretty much were both taught to hate each other, but Jesus says that this Samaritan felt compassion on the Jewish man.  He gave him first aid, lifted him onto his own donkey, and took him to a place where he'd be cared for while paying the expenses with his own money.

Jesus then asks the expert who was a neighbor to the man who was attacked, and the expert replied that it was the man who showed mercy.  Jesus then instructed the expert to do likewise.

It really hit me that Jesus was showing us that we are always supposed to have our eyes open and hearts ready to be compassionate.  Even if we think that the person is a horrible person, we are supposed to be so full of compassion and mercy that we can't help but to show kindness.  I couldn't help but to feel like perhaps I could always stand to be more compassionate.  I am fairly good about showing outward kindness, but I don't always think kind things about everybody.  More importantly, I do not always take the time to look inside the person and see the beautiful shared humanity.  I think that if I do this, I can be more patient.  I can better understand where people are coming from.  I can feel God's love for people.

I think that if we all do this, we can prevent wars.  We can show mercy to the poor.  We can stop judging people.  We can stop spreading ignorance and hate.

Love is kind.  Allowing compassion in our hearts increases acts of kindness.

God loves homosexuals

This post has been in the workings for longer than I've had my blog.  I'm nervous to write this because I don't think there is a possible way for me to write about this subject without offending somebody, and I don't generally enjoy confrontations.  Especially when it is a highly-charged subject.  However, I've recently learned that I feel like I want to stand up for people who are swept under the rug, and I have decided that a blog is a great way to do it because if you are reading this, it is your choice.  I appreciate it when people do read what I say, but please realize that I am not trying to force my ideas upon you.  I am merely sharing my thoughts and findings as I go about life.

The topic of homosexuality was a point of struggle for me for years.  My church experiences as a teen taught me that homosexuality was a sinful choice made by a person, and it was somehow considered a "more serious" sin.  The kind that can keep you from being a pastor.  The kind that cause you to be considered a "false believer" if you claim to be a Christian.  There was honestly a sense of disgust amongst the people.  I don't think most people would admit disgust, but you could feel it.  Of course, we probably all know that some people are willing to admit more than disgust.  We see the people in the news holding the signs saying, "God hates gays."

I don't hear these words enough: God loves gay people.  Immeasurably.  As much as He loves me.  He is not disgusted by these people any more than he is disgusted by me.  He loves them, and He wants what is good for them.

Unfortunately, I think that part of the reason that some parts of the church get to avoid difficult discussion is because people still hold onto the belief that homosexual individuals choose to be homosexual, and, with God, they can choose to be heterosexual.  I used to believe this, too.  It was the only way that it really felt right to condemn them so strongly.  However, I think that there is significant evidence that for many people who label themselves as homosexual, it is not a choice.  Although the causes seem to be complex, it appears that just like something in my brain makes me attracted to men, something in their brain makes them attracted to the same sex.  This has forced me to rethink and gain a better understanding of my beliefs.  It is a big deal to tell a person that if he or she ever has sex it will be a sin against God.

I know that the urge is to cling to the Bible verses that we repeat to ourselves over and over again.  The ones that "make it clear" that homosexuality is "an abomination."  However, I have pored over those verses and read different translations, and I have read about the process of translating them.  I am not ready to accept the mainstream interpretations.  There is compelling evidence that translators are not conveying the messages intended, whether intentionally or accidentally.  There is also compelling evidence that we might not understand  the intended meaning of the passage, regardless of correct translation, because we do not understand the context and the culture.  This is why some scholars decide that committed homosexual relationships are not condemned by God.  They are not trying to make things convenient for themselves.  They are trying to understand the intention of the text so that they can make decisions in their lives accordingly.

That's what I want to do as well.  I have written before about how I approach the Bible, and I know that it's not always what people want to hear from me.  I promise that I am not making my decisions lightly.  I want to believe the truth as well, and I'm working to find that.  My decision regarding homosexuality is to take a position of support for these human beings because that is what these people are first and foremost: human beings.  I don't want to make a decision for them about sexuality.  I don't want to condemn them.  I would like to share life with them just as much as with anybody else.  Regarding a homosexual Christian, I would encourage him or her in the same way that I encourage a heterosexual Christian: Love God, love people, be open to whatever path you are lead on, and seek the truth.  God loves each person, and I trust that we are all guided onto a good path if we ask to be.  Regarding a homosexual non-Christian, it is absolutely no right of mine to judge this person anyway.  All I am required to do is pour love and goodness into his or her life.

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I want to give a website that I found really helpful to hear points-of-view that aren't given their fair share of the attention: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm
I enjoyed perusing through the links, and I think that they do a nice job of sharing all sorts of points-of-view.  One paragraph, found on this page, that really hit home was:
"At the time of Martin Luther, "arsenokoitai" was universally interpreted as masturbator. But by the 20th century, masturbation had become a more generally accepted behavior. So, new translations abandoned references to masturbators and switched the attack to homosexuals. The last religious writing in English that interpreted 1 Corinthians 6:9 as referring to masturbation is believed to be the [Roman] Catholic Encyclopedia of 1967."
To put this into context, "arsenokoitai" is the term that Paul seems to coin in 1 Corinthians.  There is no written record of the word being used prior to this book, and as such, people have struggled to translate it.  This humbles me, and it reminds me of how careful we have to be as we seek meaning through text.

Just ideas to think about...

I decided to write a bit about the popular question, "Who gets to go to heaven?"

First of all, I do believe that through Jesus' doing, we are all able to have a loving relationship with God here on earth and after physical death. From my understanding, we can be confident in our good standing if we sincerely seek to patch our relationship with God through a faith in Jesus' life, death and resurrection.

That's all well and good, but what about everyone who doesn't have this type of relationship? I think that many Christians are convinced that everyone else goes to hell. I have heard many people talk about individuals and nations that they are convinced are in or are going to hell. I recently have heard an adult tell a group of children about someone that she "knows" is now in hell. Wow!

People seem so quick and willing to condemn billions to hell with a black-and-white standards. The following are a few things that seem like possible and, perhaps, reasonable alternatives.

1) God works differently with different people. Think back to the days of the Old Testament. God worked closely with the Israelites, and we have a record of His actions with Israel. We can also read that outsiders were welcomed to follow the God of Israel. However, what about people who never encountered Israel? Did they never get to meet God? Are they then condemned to hell? I think that God works with all people, both in the past and present, and He is able to judge them accordingly.

2) Even people presented with the story of Jesus who then reject it might not have rejected God. Wait... What??? Did I just say that? Yes. Yes, I did. I have a good reason, though! Perhaps the way God was presented was not an accurate representation of God, and perhaps this false, albeit perhaps unintentionally false, representation is what people are rejecting. This is an extreme illustration, but imagine going into an innocent, peaceful village and killing half of them at random. You then go to the remaining half and give a spiel about God's love. If they reject your spiel, they are probably not rejecting God. They are rejecting you.

I am not saying that I know how God judges people because I don't. However, I do believe that he is good, loving, just, and all-knowing. Since I am not these things, I am going to accept that I can't judge a person. Instead, I am going to spend my time trying to love people with God's love so that hopefully they can love God back.

The Bible

A topic worth considering, I think. This post is related to the very first blog post I wrote, but I will try to be more focused, and I will bring up new details.

Growing up in conservative churches, the first words that come to mind when I hear "The Bible" is "Word of God." The question is, what does that even mean and how does that affect how we approach this text? I think that a popular belief these days is to accept the Bible as infallible, 100% accurate, to be taken completely literally, and to be the ultimate authority to help make decisions and form beliefs. I think that this belief is encouraged with good intentions; I think a huge reason that this has become popular is to perhaps to prevent people from making up convenient ideas to live by instead of pressing on to live a fulfilling life of sacrifice and love.

That being said, I would like to argue against much of this popular belief. But don't despair! I too believe that there is something perfect, infallible, and very capable of helping people be the best people they can be. Stay tuned in.

Part of the understanding of the Bible that I think many people ignore is the style, purpose, and author's intention within each individual book. I am no expert in this area either, but I will try to explain what I mean to the best of my understanding. For example, Psalms is a book of poetry or songs, and many of the psalms express intense emotion. In particular, King David writes songs in prayer to God about his enemies. He spews anger and hatred at them and wishes for their destruction. Since these passages show up, does this mean that this is an appropriate response to any enemies we may have? I don't think so. However, I think that from these passages we can learn that God listens to us even when our humanity drowns out the big picture. We know God loved David; He'll love us too.

Next up, the little contradictions and errors found in the Bible. There are some. How exactly did Saul die? If the Bible is 100% accurate, why do Matthew, Mark, Luke and John contain differences in the story of Jesus' death and resurrection? My answer: I don't think that the Bible is 100% accurate. I think that the people writing it explain things that happened based on what they knew and heard, especially the books devoted especially to recording history. I think that it is futile to try to argue that there is nothing inaccurate or false in the Bible; it will be more productive and truthful to accept the book for what it is and go from there. After all, aren't we seeking the truth?

My next topic is the common belief that there is only one correct way to interpret the Bible, and the fact that many people get upset if you disagree with their interpretation. All I have to say about this is that how we read and perceive any text depends on our culture, upbringing, and understanding of the text. Most of us probably know people who love God and are genuinely doing their best to find truth who still differ in their understanding of the Bible. This fact lets us know that we can't assume that we ever hold the whole truth or even most of it. We have to be alright with that.

I want to conclude with a brief description on how I currently approach the Bible. I believe that God did have a say in what ended up in the book. I think He knew the significance it would have for generations of people, and I think He was intentional about what He allowed in and kept out. With this, I can approach the book with curiosity, and I can search for understanding of God, humanity, myself, and many other things. I use it to be inspired to love and do good. I read it and am reminded of God's love of people. I am challenged to learn and seek truth.

And what do I think is perfect, infallible, and very capable of helping people be the best people they can be? God. The Bible is a good tool, but it cannot and should not take the place of God.

"Those People"

Something I've been thinking about lately is the idea of labeling people. In psychology last year, we talked about how labeling people creates a feeling of "us" and "them." I think that anybody can relate to this idea (sports teams, school rivalries, cliques, etc.) I also think that creating groups can be good because it creates common ground to build strong relationships. However, it also can cause people to become arrogant and self-righteous.

One place that I think that this idea of "those people" is becoming more and more evident today is, unfortunately, within the church. Generally, there has been the notion of "the sinners" for ages. From what I can see, this is a label used primarily by those either genuinely seeking absolute morality or just those who use their societal status of "moral" as an excuse to demean others. We are commonly told that it was the cheating tax collectors, the "loose" women, or the general "Gentile sinner" who were viewed as the lesser, lower people of the time in Jesus' day. These people were avoided (and perhaps feared?) by many who were claiming to live by God's word.

From what we know, Jesus didn't put up with the nonsense that was occurring. While I definitely don't think he encouraged people to do wrong ever, I think that he saw all humans as having potential but being imperfect. Instead of excluding, he included, and by loving people he changed their lives. It wasn't by trying to convince them that they were bad people, but it was by showing them what was good so that they wanted it.

Today, I feel like we again have select groups of "sinners" that are looked down upon. I think that it is most often the case when it comes to controversial issues. Homosexuals, people who support abortion, people who are "too liberal"... These labels are used to look down on people. People spend a lot of time fighting for these issues politically, and many people become vehement and perhaps hateful. Some people simply radiate a distaste for certain people when they talk about them.

But why? What makes these people any worse than anybody else? The answer: nothing. We have no right to judge.

What should we do? What we should always do. Love people. I think that the reason God dislikes sin isn't because he's worried about labeling us or ranking us from good to bad. I think he wants what's best for all humans, and when we hurt ourselves or each other, it hurts Him and our relationship with Him and others. Most people realize they aren't perfect; that's not the problem. I just think we need to be more like Jesus and simply love people without worrying about what that makes us look like.

God works in people's spirits. Let him guide people on their paths. When was the last time you saw an argument about moral issues change somebody's mind? That's not your job. Just love them so that they can see God.

(As a note: It's "funny" because I think that I struggle with this same issue in a different manner. I find it difficult to love the people that go on protests with signs that say "God hates gays" or people who think they can decide who's a worse sinner. I too have to realize that, from my point of view, these people are wrong, but I can't judge them or find myself to be better than them! Otherwise, I have reinforced the idea of labeling and putting myself of a pedestal above them. Exactly what I don't want...)

What is the truth?

One of the biggest changes that I've made recently is my understanding and approach to truth. I think that this started with my wondering about interpretation of the Bible. I realized that a lot of arguments the church has are about interpretations of this book. For example, some churches allow women to preach, and others believe this is out of the natural order of things. I think that the passage of scripture most widely referenced is a letter from Paul to the Corinthians where he forbids women from speaking in the church. From my understanding, some people believe that since it is in scripture, it is a universal truth that must be carried out today. The other side of the argument might say that this letter was written to a specific church in a day and age where women were not educated and therefore may have been spreading falsehood. Who's right?

Suddenly, I realized that I didn't know everything, and I never will. I grew up being told that the answers are in the Bible, and that's often true, but even if an issue is directly addressed, people can interpret things differently. Some interpretations are obviously self-seeking, but some seem to be equally sound in logic. In these cases, it seems clear that God is the only source of the ultimate answer. And, despite some peoples' claims, it is often very difficult to know who is speaking: God or self.

When you realize that you can't know everything about what's true, it suddenly becomes very important to decide what you can cling to as truth. For me, through my experiences, through others' experiences, and through historical records, I find it impossible to believe that there is no God. I find that I believe that Jesus did die and rise again to remove all the wrong that I've done. I do believe in God's Spirit in man. Now, I asked, what do I do as a result of this? What I came up with was that all that I was required to do was love. There are so many details involved with loving that I know that I was just vague. Truly, I think that a root question that is at the bottom of many arguments in the church is, "How DO we love?"

For me, throwing out the concern about needing to know the truth and have a position on every issue freed me. It has made me less judgmental, open to listening, and willing to think critically. I don't necessarily agree with people on everything, but I am better able to see why they think what they think. These people we disagree with are generally not as evil as we make them out to be. I think they are generally just approaching things differently but still trying to do right.

Mind you, I'm not saying it's not important to seek truth or to ask God. I think it is, and I think that if you believe something is wrong, you definitely shouldn't do it. However, I want to be open to realizing that I could be wrong in my beliefs based on incorrect interpretation or understanding, and so I shouldn't condemn others for behaving differently. I think that's why I should love people and then let God work with them like He works with me.

All in all, I think that this switch in attitude has made me more open and loving person. I also think it helps me to love more genuinely and feel less self-righteous. I'm hoping that by accepting that I might be wrong I will be better able to love and not less able to spread truth.