We pray for peace

Matthew and I have been reading the book Practicing Peace: A Devotional Walk Through the Quaker Tradition by Catherine Whitmire.  The book has a compelling introduction written by the author, and then the rest of the book is essentially a compilation of quotations from throughout the last few centuries.  I checked it out from the library, read a few chapters, and I felt in my heart that I needed to own that book.  I don't know if you've had similar feelings, but as I was reading the book, I felt inspired and empowered to be better than I currently am. I certainly couldn't absorb all of the wisdom and inspiration before returning the book!  I've been mulling through some thoughts about peace, and I think I'm ready to put some of my thoughts into words.

Reading this book has made me realize that we need to pray for peace in our world and believe that God hears our prayers and doesn't cast them aside. In one of my groups of friends in high school, I learned to have the attitude that peace will never exist in Israel because of the long-lasting, deeply-rooted conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians.  I have let that mentality subconsciously continue for about 10 years now, and I have only recently realized what I believe to be an error in my thinking. If I believe that God desires peace in our world and that with God all things are possible, then I have to believe that peace is possible, and I have to live like I believe it.

I also have been confronted with my own failings when it comes to peace.  How many times have I harbored such frustrated, hateful thoughts toward people?  How many relationships have I soured through my own attitude?  How many times have I argued my case (because I'm right, of course!) despite the damage that my arguing was doing?

I don't think that I have to remain silent about issues that inspire passion within me, but I do believe that I can relate to people in peaceful ways.  I have often wondered, "Why can't people discuss things?  Why can't we discuss religion and politics and issues that matter without feeling ready to attack the other person?"  I am not sure I fully know the answer, but I do know that I want to be able to have these conversations while maintaining inner peace and the peace in the relationship.  Humans are never going to all agree on pretty much anything, so must not we all work on finding a way to live together in love instead of in hate despite our differences?

I am inspired by people who patiently bring about peace in our world by being peaceful and connecting to people.

In my idealistic and romantic heart, I think that I desire for my life and home to be marked by peace.  It might be silly, but I genuinely hope that people feel peace and love in their lives when they enter our house. I haven't stopped a war, but perhaps I can start by creating peace in our home and then watch it splash out into our community.

Finally, I have come to the realization that the next time our country considers declaring another needless war, which won't be too long from now if patterns from our history continue, I hope that I will have the courage to speak against it even if my position is not popular. 

I feel like this post is lacking.  Sometimes when I write I feel my logical, mathematician self typing as my passion bubbles in my chest trying to get out.  Perhaps I will try again another day to somehow spill my bubbles onto the page.  Or perhaps you can just get your hands on a copy of Practicing Peace so that you can also be inspired by the words of many throughout the ages...

Peace be with you.

And so we vote!

I have felt compelled to write about the 2012 election a few times either on Facebook on my blog.  Each time I start typing, my words fall short of the ideas in my head, and I worry that I will add to the drivel of election season.  Heaven forbid!  Finally, as election day has arrived, I think that I have figured out the words that I wish to add to the "conversation".

We have heard over and over from opposing parties about how awful (or wonderful!) things would be if a candidate is elected this year.  The numbers have been crunched (or made up), facts (or lies/half-truths) have been brought to the voters' attention, and speeches have been made (and then taken out of context)!  I don't think that anybody can deny that election season is messy in the U.S.

So what do I want to add to all of it?  My call to unify rather than polarize.  My prayer is that we:

• Unify as a nation to face our problems and work together, taking time to consider diverse opinions, to solve them.
• Bring peace to the world.
• Use resources (monetary and planetary) wisely so as to provide a positive future for generations to come
• Face the problem of climate change and deal with human impacts responsibly.
• Be compassionate to those in need that we are able to help.
• Create policies that bring justice, social and otherwise, both in our country and the rest of the world.
• Create a food system that is safe, healthy, just, and sustainable.
• Treat all people with equal respect and rights.
• And..

Regardless of who wins any elections, I hope that our representatives in government succeed in creating a better country and a better world through their policies.  We are not electing "the lesser of two (or more) evils", we are electing one of two (or more) people.  Each person will have both talents and faults to share as he or she governs.

But if we bicker and complain and attack our candidates and then our leaders, how are we making anything better?  How can we work together after an election if we can't be civil during one?

I end with these thoughts:  Our country, and our world, is made up of citizens.  Our government has a huge amount of power, and it can make choices that largely impact individuals and the world at large.  However, while I cannot control the choices of the government, I am left with the choice about what kind of citizen I wish to be.

I can contact my representatives to let them know how I feel about different issues.  I can stay caught up with the news even between election cycles so that I can understand the array of issues better and be as well-informed as possible.  I can choose my words wisely when discussing politics; I can speak gently instead of with the grace of a battering ram.

I can share my resources with others.  I can improve my community.  I can participate in meetings of the local government.  I can make choices with others' needs in mind.  I can volunteer.

I have the power to bring beauty and love, or darkness and hate, into the world.

I want, and will work toward, good things in the world, and no election can change that.  I simply believe that I can be a more effective citizen if I am engaged, cooperating, thoughtful, concerned, and respectful instead of whiny, uncooperative, attacking, violent, and disrespectful.

And, besides my own ballot, that is my contribution to the election of 2012.

The Occupy movement... money... life... and stuff

Unless I have written a post that I have forgotten about, I think that so far I have not said anything about the Occupy movement sweeping the nation.  I have mixed feelings about the movement.  I am so happy that people are able and willing to assemble to express their dissatisfaction about a system that has failed them (or not them, but people they know).  I am concerned that the movement has no clear direction and will thus fizzle out without causing change.  When doing a sit-in type protest, it seems like it is vital to have a list of demands.  With that, I actually really want to talk about the reactions to the movement that I have heard.  Not that this is a new thing to hear, but one recurring response is essentially the thought that the people participating in the movement are freeloaders who need to go get a job, any job, and stop trying to get pity.

It breaks my heart to hear people speak about the jobless, homeless, and penniless (especially when including debt like student loans) in this way.  It ignores the elephant in the room:  The way our system currently works does not give the same opportunity to every American in the room.  What's more, our system is not fair.

I can go on and on about what is unfair about our system.  It includes the fact that we bail out big banks while still foreclosing on peoples' home.  It includes the fact that not all public schools are created equal, and the richer your area is, the nicer the public school probably is.  It includes that fact that our government's decisions are being affected by the people with the most money more than those with no money.

I am an example of our unfair system.  My mom stayed at home with me and she and my dad both gave me a jump start in my education; I could even read before kindergarten thanks to my parents dedication to reading to and with me.  My parents also had enough money to give me a chance to be involved in sports and other activities through my K-12 education.  Being educated themselves, they helped me to value learning and education.  My dad, being a high school counselor, helped me prepare for college when I was in elementary school by teaching me to save my money and do my best in school.  Not only that, but by luck of the draw, my very genetics allowed me to get straight A's in high school.  Add the activities I participated in (thanks to my parents' ability to make sure I had transportation) and the fact that I happened to be in a small school, and I was a great candidate for scholarships.  I took my eighteen years of privilege to OSU, and I worked hard, and I got enough scholarships to live on each year as long as I lived frugally (which my parents also taught me to do).  I also finished needing summer jobs before the economic crash, so I could earn money each summer.  We also believe that possibly the only reason Matthew has a job now is that (through his own story of privilege) he had an internship at the company that hired him.  Matthew was applying to entry-level positions and never receiving a response despite his grades and internship experience.

I've had people tell me I've done a good job and that I have earned my achievement, and yes, I have worked hard.  However, it's just not fair.  What about the people who could have found stability if born into the same privilege?  What about the simple truth that I would almost certainly not be this well off if I hadn't been a product of all those factors that had absolutely nothing to do with my choices?

So, to me, it goes beyond asking for our system to be fixed of its glaring faults.  It's about being humble about my position of power and compassionate to those who have need, not from fault of their own, but because of circumstances out of their control.

I had three things that I was looking forward to as we exited college: starting a family, buying a house (and more importantly, some land), and having more money to give away.

We've always agreed as a couple that tithing (the literal 10%) is something we should do but should not ever be the end of our giving.  Even throughout college, we had a few extra good things that we made sure to support, but I felt that as we entered the middle class, we'd have a chance to do more.  Immediately upon Matthew starting work, though, I realized that it can take some time to save up for a down payment for a home.  While we don't need a house right away (or technically ever), I think it makes sense for us to own, and as quickly as possible, because I want to make good use of the space through gardening, storing food, maybe having chickens, allowing kids a space to run free and learn about the land, etc.  The "as quickly as possible" part comes from the fact that every month we are shelling out $770 in rent, and while some of that would be going to property taxes and the like, I'd say at least $500 a month is really going toward nothing.  I'd rather be using this money to pay off the house.

So, as we start making more money, I immediately start feeling like we need to make sure that we are saving a fair amount which terrifies me.  I am horrified about always feeling like I need something and, as a result, never giving as much as I can.  From what I have experienced, it seems that no matter how rich people are, they seem to always feel the need to hang onto their money.  People making $20,000 say that if they made even just $50,000, they could give more away.  People making $50,000 say that if they made $100,000, they'd give more away.  If we all do this, it's no wonder that there's a lack of "giving away" in this world.   Financially, and for the lifestyle we live, I still believe it makes sense to aim to own a house.  In the long run, this type of purchase can actually free up more money.

Before I fell asleep last night, I made a decision to remain open to giving freely even while we are saving for a home.  I have a couple specific things I plan to do, and the rest I hope to remain sensitive to.

May God poke me with a big stick if I ever lose passion for doing my part in this earth and instead gain interest in my own first-world wants.  If God seems to be holding off on poking me, it might be because He's hoping one of you will.  Please do!

God is in the Everyday: Prayer

I'm going to use this post to talk about my experiences with prayer. I have had some pretty discouraging experiences with this, and I have felt guilt and negative pressure about prayer, so I hope that this will help encourage some people who perhaps have felt similarly.

During high school, I made a conscious decision to live a life of faith in God. At the time, part of my understanding was that there were a few things that I was supposed to do to be a good Christian. Perhaps the biggest "requirement" was that I was supposed to "have God-time daily" which included "reading the Bible and praying," and as a result I could expect to have a "spiritual experience." Some of my friends and I regularly discussed how we were doing on this goal. There were also unspoken bonus points for 1) spending a certain LONG time with God (an hour would certainly win points), 2) getting up early in the morning to spend time with God, 3) being moved to tears.

As I look back and read what I just wrote, I realize it sounds like we weren't being genuine and honest with ourselves. That is probably true (at least about me), and I'm sure that it made me/us less effective and satisfied. However, I believe that most of my friends and I were legitimately trying to do what was right.

In college, I continued to try to do the spiritual things I thought were requirements for the good Christian college freshman. Finding a church, finding a Bible study, still "having daily God-time," etc. Naturally, this still included trying to be a good at praying. I felt like I needed to daily spend a long single period in silent discussion with God. What this lead to was an intense amount of guilt because I found the my mind often just wandered. If not that, then I often felt guilty if I missed a day or two.

It got to the point that a few years ago I just gave up trying to spend that lengthy time praying. I was so frustrated and guilt-ridden that I couldn't do it anymore. I was trying my best to "be a good Christian," and I seriously felt like I was a failure.

This brings us to recent times and to why this is in the God is in the Everyday series. As I think I have made clear, in the past year I have felt closer in relationship with God than I have in years. However, I still don't regularly sit or lie down and pray for a long period of time.

What works for me right now primarily is sincerely praying to God throughout the day. When I am thankful, worried, upset, happy, or excited, I send my message to God. When someone around me is hurting, I ask for peace. When I am feeling impatient, I ask for patience. I also listen. I don't claim to have ever heard God saying a sentence to me, but I do think I receive patience, encouragement, love, and many other things. I also use mealtimes and bedtime as a time in the day to just "check in."

I am not saying that I don't think that there's never a time for longer prayers or that there is anything wrong with them. I just have personally found that they work best for me on specific occasions and not as a strictly-scheduled tool.

In summary, I think it is a huge blessing to have a God by our side every moment of every day. Just like with Matthew, I enjoy sharing pieces of information, gratitude, and emotion with God throughout the day, and I also enjoy a longer conversation when appropriate. Just like with Matthew, I feel like my relationship with God should take tending and care, but it shouldn't be forced. With this attitude, I feel like I can have a real, solid, healthy relationship, which is what I have wanted the whole time.